Wife: My husband didn’t tell me he was impotent, he starved me of sex for 16 years
Husband: My wife didn’t tell me she has damaged womb, can’t bear children
It was a dramatic moment at Agwa Tashi community, Obi Local Government Area, Nasarawa State on Monday as a couple, Mr Thomas Agba and his wife Mary, were arrested by a combination of some vigilante group members and a few elders of the community for stealing a new born baby belonging to a mad woman.
The couple, who before now were resident in Akwanga Local Government Area of Nasarawa State, had been married for 16 years without an issue. Their relationship had begun when Thomas, an indigene of Kokona LGA, met Mary, who hails from Wamba Local Government Area, and proposed marriage to her. They agreed to get married after a courtship that lasted about six months.
It was gathered that the couple agreed not to have sex before they would get married. Mary, however kept secret the fact that she had lost her womb during an abortion she had as a spinster while Thomas also kept secret the fact that he had been impotent from birth.
Speaking in an exclusive interview with our correspondent, Mary said: “Before I got married 16 years ago, my husband and I never made love.
“He was the first to suggest that we should not have sex until he paid my dowry. He always told me that we should wait until we got married. Unfortunately, I never knew that he was avoiding sex because he was impotent.
“Since we got married, he has not been doing his job as a husband and that always made me sad.
“Each time I confronted him with sex issues, he would either say he was not in the mood or ask that we should adjourn the matter till the next day.
“For 16 years, he kept giving me one excuse or the other, so we never had sex.
“Barely a year after our marriage, I discovered that he was an impotent man. There is no complete man on earth who will spend one year with a woman on the same bed without sex, more so your own wife.
“Many times I tried to seduce him by giving him the best of romantic kisses and wearing sexy clothes at night just to entice him, but his manhood would not stand at all.
“To make matters worse, he has never asked me for sex since we got married.
“I was depressed by the situation, so almost every night, I cried and cried because I didn’t know what to do.
“Right inside me, I also know that I don’t have a womb to conceive a baby even if my husband was a man. But the truth is that I love him so much and I did not want to commit adultery or cheat on him.”
Mary added that since her womb got damaged, it was clear to her that she would have a problem with child bearing when she got married.
She said: “Whenever a new couple gets married and later gives birth, I feel happy for them. But when I realise that I will never have the same experience, tears roll down my cheeks. The joy of every family is to bear children.
“Sometime late last year, I woke up early in the morning and summoned courage to tell my husband the truth. I told him to his face that he is an impotent man and there is no way he can impregnate me for us to bear children.
“He admitted it, telling me that he grew up to discover that he was impotent. I also seized the chance to tell him that I also cannot bear a child because my womb is damaged.
“I told him that even if he was man enough, it would be impossible for me to take in. I them suggested that there were two options open to us since we were both tired of people asking why pregnancy had not come.
“I suggested that we should adopt a baby and move to another location to give the impression that it is our biological baby.
“On a second thought, I remembered that there was a mad pregnant woman around our area, so I decided that we should monitor her, draw her close to us and take her baby as soon as she was delivered of it instead of going through the long process of adopting a child in Abuja.
“We both agreed to the idea and I started drawing the mad woman close to me by providing for her needs and somehow she became used to me.
“She hardly spoke, but due to my closeness to her because of the food I was giving her, she managed to tell me how she was impregnated by a man whose location she could not really say.
“She also said that she was expected to give birth in July, although she ended up delivering in September.
“She went into labour in the night on September 7. Around that time, she was always in our compound, because I was providing for her necessities and our house was not far from the main road.
“We immediately rushed her to the hospital and after about five hours of labour, she was delivered of a baby boy. We spent two days in the hospital to normalise her.
“While we were in the hospital, I sold the idea of snatching the baby from the mad woman to my husband and change our base from Akwanga to Lafia.
“When she was discharged from the hospital, with my husband’s car, we left the hospital in Akwanga, drove straight to Lafia and headed straight to Awe LGA where we arranged for a friend who is a medical personel to give her some injection to calm down her breast milk.
“We dumped her somewhere in Awe LG and returned to Agwa Tashi in Obi LG with the baby.
“The mad woman’s deficiency, which we took advantage of, is that she hardly talks. She prefers to talk alone than to talk to people.
“I had already bought baby food and feeding bottle and prepared hot water in case he would start crying on the road.
“So we abandoned the mad woman in Awe and relocated to Obi to settle there temporarily. Our intention was to move back to Lafia after one year and settle there permanently.
“My husband is a businessman.”
Our correspondent gathered that while many people around Akwanga had noticed the sudden disappearance of the mad woman, none felt any need to probe into her case.
Mary said: “One week after, the new born baby was not feeling so strong, so we took him to Dalhatu Araf Specialist Hospital for treatment.
“As we were trying to locate the children ward, we did not know that a former neighbour of ours in Akwanga was involved in an accident and was admitted at the hospital.
“His wife saw us with a baby and was visibly shocked. From that moment, she knew that we must have snatched the mad woman’s baby, more so because she knew that the mad woman was close to us and her whereabouts had become a source of concern.
“She quickly returned home and informed a few other people who later told some members of the vigilante group about our new location.”
Mary, who pleaded with the team not to thank her over to law enforcement agents, said she could not bear any child because her womb was damaged by a quack doctor during an abortion she had as secondary school pupil, adding that she did what she did out of frustration.
She said: “When I met Thomas about16 years ago, he loved me so much and I equally loved him. So, when he proposed marriage to me, I quickly obliged and could not tell the truth because I didn’t want to lose him.”
Also speaking, Thomas, who also pleaded that security agents should not be involved in the matter, admitted that he was impotent, adding that desperation to have a child led him to accept his wife’s proposal.
He said that they both have themselves to blame for not being sincere about their conditions from the outset.
He said: “We both lied to each other and it landed us in this mess. Please and please, you people should have mercy, pity our condition and look at our case. It was desperation to have a child that led us into this evil plan.”
The couple has since led some members of the vigilante group to Awe in search of the mad woman.
The matter was yet to be reported to the police at press time as the vigilante men insist on finding the mad woman before involving the police in it.
Linus OOTA, The Nation
Why FG should not declare bandits as terrorists – Gumi
Islamic scholar, Sheikh Ahmad Gumi, has said declaring bandits as terrorists will come at a price, which will result in the involvement of the foreign Jihadist movement.
Gumi said this in a statement titled, ‘Declaring Bandits As Terrorists Will Come With A Prize,’ adding that the moment they are termed as terrorists, unemployed youths might find it attractive and join the terrorist group.
The statement read, “Nobody doubts that sentimentalism today overrides sensibility in our polity. For the sake of posterity, some people will have to speak out.
“The acts the bandits are committing now in NW have gradually over time become tantamount to terrorism because wherever innocent people are fatal victims it’s pure terrorism. Yet, innocence these days is relative. We agreed if their children and women are also killed, they are guilty by association or collateral damage, so also the bandits may think the same way.
“It’s right for vigilantes to lynch Fulanis herdsmen or anyone that looks like them by profiling but wrong for the herdsmen to ransack villages in retribution. They are pushed to believe it is an existential war and in war, ethics are thrown to the winds.
“Yet again, the only helpful part that is against bandits is that no other than them are attracted to join them in the NW because of its ethnic tinge and coloration. However, the moment they are termed Terrorist – Islamic for that matter, the direct foreign Jihadist movements will set in in force.
“And many teaming unemployed youths may find it palatable and attractive. Shouting ‘Allahu Akbar’ plus AK47 against a ‘secular’ immoral society where impunity reigns are the magnet for extremists and downtrodden – the majority of our youth.
““Already these deadly terrorist groups are fighting for the soul of these bandits. This will give criminality a spiritual cover and remove the stigma of discrediting them with such crimes since now they are fighting a ‘Jihad’ as they will claim. In such a situation, does the larger society -as it is- has the moral high ground to fight back? This is the most probable consequence, the price of which is not worth it. Nothing stops the kinetic actions from going on without the controversy of semantics.”
BREAKING: Delta community shuts Agip station over poor environment
A community in Delta State, Tuomo, host to Nigeria Agip Oil Company, in Burutu local government area, has shut down its oil/gas facility over breach of agreement and failure to provide basic necessities for the community.
The community folk, including men, women, youths and the elderly, armed with placards, trooped out and besieged the facility in a protest, Monday, chanting battle songs and calling on the management of NAOC to do the needful.
Some inscriptions on the placards read: “we say no to Agip, enough is enough, Agip, provide our light, no light no work, Tuomo community will not allow Agip to work until we get our light, bye-bye to Agip among others.
Chairman of Tuomo community, Mr Tomke Binebai, who led the protest, said: “Tuomo people have taken their decision against Agip and we’ll remain here until our demands are met.
“Agip has been promising and deceiving us since their operation here in 2009, they promised to provide light for Tuomo as their host. If you go to their station, there’s steady electricity supply but their host community is in total darkness.
“Enough of this insult and embarrassment, we’ve taken our decision and if they really want to operate here, let them light up Tuomo, pay the surveillance chances, employ our youths and adhere to the GMoU.
“It’s ridiculous to say that since inception, Agip has not employed a single youth in this community, they have been dribbling us and we’ve decided that we have come to stay in our own land where Agip is occupying”.
How the story of Kano blind teacher changed for good
At the beginning of the year, Dahuru neither had his personal house nor a paid employment.
But things changed for better after a Daily Trust report brought him to the limelight.
The report had focused on how he did not allow his physical impairment to hinder his quest for education as well as to contribute his quota to the society.
A philanthropist had earlier reached out after the Daily Trust story published on September 25 and bought a three-bedroom apartment for Dahuru and his family, who were hitherto living in a rented house.
The state government, through its commissioner for education, Muhammad Sanusi Sa’id Kiru, also reached out on Saturday following the publication of a video of Dahuru on Daily Trust platforms.
Governor Abdullahi Umar Ganduje, who met with Dahuru on Sunday in his office in company of the commissioner, asked the young blind teacher what he wanted the state government to do for him, to which he (Dahuru) reiterated his earlier appeal for a permanent and pensionable employment.
Ganduje thereafter directed Dahuru to be offered a permanent and pensionable teaching job Special Education School, Tudun Maliki on Grade 7(2).
This is the same school Dahuru had his primary and secondary education.
A provisional offer of employment was immediately printed and offered to Dahuru at the office of the state’s commissioner of education pending the formalization of his employment by the Office of the Head of Civil Service.
The commissioner told Daily Trust that immediately he saw the trending report online on Saturday, he started looking for way to reach out to the blind teacher and fortunately he got through to him through this reporter.
“There and then I called Excellency, the governor, and briefed him about it and he requested that I should bring him to give him words of encouragement.
“To God be the glory his Excellency has seen him and blessed him with words of encouragement and appreciated his courage. Though a blind person but educated up to NCE (and now studying for a degree)
“Having been impressed with the good determination of the gentleman, His Excellency directed that I should offer him employment as a teacher on grade level 7 and to post him to Tudun Maliki Special Education school. So Dahuru is now an employed teacher with Kano State Ministry of Education.”
He said the governor’s gesture was encouraging with the hope that more people like Dahuru will emulate the young blind teacher.
“I also want to congratulate Dahuru for this exceptional appointment, at this very hard time, for somebody to get employment is highly encouraging.
“I also thank Daily Trust for doing this humanitarian story, especially the reporter and their editors. You have done an excellent job and God Almighty will reward you”, the commissioner said.
Daily Trust reports that Dahuru is currently studying at the National Open University of Nigeria (NOUN) on a full scholarship courtesy of Professor Uba Abdallah, the immediate past Vice Chancellor of the institution.
Similarly, following Saturday’s publication of Dahuru’s video, Near Foundation offered him a N10,000 monthly transportation support till the end of his study at NOUN.
Days earlier, a philanthropist, who asked not to be named, had bought a house for him at a destination closed to the school where Dahuru was volunteering.
The house was also furnished by the philanthropist.
Recalled that Dahuru was featured in the Daily Trust’s September 25 Encounter page of the weekend title
The story had captured Dahuru’s struggles in life and how he overcame the challenges to become educated and a contributor to the development of others.
In the story, Dahuru narrated how he withstood the rigours to earn himself a National Certificate of Education (NCE) and secured scholarship into a degree program to further his ambition to one day become a lecturer.
After the story, the philanthropist had reached out to Dahuru through Daily Trust and the outcome of their meeting was a new home for Dahuru and his family as well as some cash gifts.
From that day, the blind volunteer teacher said he could not sleep properly and had almost sleepless nights for the change that came to him which he never dreamt of.
According to him, since the time he was handed the papers of the house, he sees it as a dream and could not believe he is now a property owner.
“I still see it as a dream, unless if I remember the man and what he said when we visited his house.
“I have been struggling to get what is better but never thought of getting a house as nice as this one. Though I cannot see but I feel its beauty in me. Many people have said it. My elder brother has been talking about it all these days. To be honest with you, this is the talk of the town in our area, our house and the neighborhood.”
Dahuru’s family said they were surprised further when the philanthropist sent some people to bring furniture for their new home.
“I doubt if we have this type of people in the world. While we are celebrating the purchase of the house, we just received a call that the man said we should wait for the furniture. To our surprised he sent his boys with three sets of new furniture for the three rooms. This is beyond imagining in our minds. We have no words to thank him enough, may Allah reward him abundantly and may the gentle souls of his parents rest in eternal peace,” Dahuru’s mother said while praying continuously for the man.
His father, who has been suffering from an ailment for years, said Dahuru is a blessing to his family and has brought a lot of development that they never thought of getting.
“We don’t have a house, we live in rent house. The house we are living presently is uncompleted and some parts are fenced with roofing iron. But today just like a dream we have our own well-furnished house, with electricity and all other things needed. We thank Almighty Allah for this change that come to our life.
“We also thank the man who did this for us. We don’t know him yet, and we asked if we could go and thank him but he said no. So wherever he is, we wish him the best. We will forever be grateful to him and we will never stop praying for him, his parents and entire family.
“For you (our reporter) and Daily Trust that have been the source of this life changing gift to us, we want to say thank you. We wish the Daily Trust and its entire staff the best. You will remain in our history forever,” the old man said in tears.
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