Kneeling to Propose Is Why Western Marriages Fail — Pete Edochie Sparks Fresh Debate

Pete Edochie

Kneeling to Propose Is Why Western Marriages Fail — Pete Edochie Sparks Fresh Debate

Veteran Nollywood actor Pete Edochie has reignited a fierce debate on marriage traditions, insisting that men who kneel to propose are symbolically surrendering their family headship—a practice he claims has contributed to the high rate of marital breakdown in Western countries.

The 78-year-old actor, who has been married for 56 years and describes himself as an “uncompromising custodian of Igbo culture,” made the remarks during an exclusive interview on the Curiosity Made Me Ask programme with BaeU Barbie. The conversation has sparked widespread discussion on social media about the balance between tradition and modernity in courtship and marriage.

Edochie argued that kneeling to propose is not merely a romantic gesture but carries deep symbolic meaning that many men fail to recognise. Drawing from his Catholic faith, he explained that kneeling—or genuflection—is an expression of reverence before a higher spiritual authority. “In church, you kneel before a superior spiritual entity. So if you kneel to a woman, you’re acknowledging her superiority. It has destroyed the white people—they don’t know it,” he asserted. “If you step down on your knee and you offer a woman a ring, you are conceding headship of the family to that woman. And that is what a lot of you who advocate that don’t even understand,” Edochie stated.

He maintained that the practice is culturally alien to African tradition, particularly Igbo customs. “Kneeling down to propose to a woman is totally wrong, it is not our lifestyle. Kneeling before a girl in Igbo tradition means you are handing over the authority to her. She becomes the head of the family,” he said. According to Edochie, traditional Igbo marriage rites place the woman in the kneeling position—not the man. “Marriage in Igbo tradition is when a lady gives her husband-to-be wine while kneeling down. What does it signify? That the man has been accepted as the husband of the lady. It is the lady who kneels before the husband, not vice versa,” he explained.

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The veteran actor linked the practice of kneeling proposals directly to the instability of marriages in Western societies. “Have you ever asked yourself why marriages don’t last in Western countries? You haven’t. That’s the reason,” he said. Edochie pointed to what he sees as the consequences of this dynamic: “The white man kneels down to propose to a girl, you know what it means? The girl takes over the family. This is why whenever you disagree with your wife overseas, you are kicked out and the wife takes the house.” He further argued that Western societies show a general disregard for the sanctity of marriage, stating that Africans have more to teach the Western world about sustaining long-term unions. “I have been married for the past 56 years, there is no actor in Hollywood who has my record, nor in Nollywood. Something that we can teach the white man is how to get married and keep their marriages. They don’t appreciate the sanctity of marriage and it doesn’t mean anything to them, it’s nonsensical,” he declared. Edochie also addressed the financial implications of divorce in some Western jurisdictions, noting that women may be entitled to a substantial portion of their husbands’ assets following the dissolution of a marriage. “So, if your wife decides to divorce you, she’s entitled to maybe half or 75 per cent of what you have,” he noted.

While acknowledging that culture evolves, Edochie warned against adopting foreign practices that undermine African values. “Culture is eclectic. In its dynamism, it grows. You adapt and you adopt, there are aspects that you can clip off but adopting these things does not have to be at the expense of our culture,” he said. Edochie cited his own marriage as evidence that his approach works. “I didn’t kneel to propose to my wife and we’ve stayed 50 years in our marriage. I took my time to woo her, when it’s time to settle down, I asked if she’ll marry me and that was it,” he recalled.

When interviewer BaeU Barbie—who noted that he personally knelt when proposing—challenged Edochie, asking, “Do I look like a fool?” the veteran actor stood his ground, replying, “I will not take it back.” Edochie has previously used even stronger language, describing men who kneel to propose as “idiots,” “bloody fools,” and “compound buffoons.”

Edochie’s comments have drawn both praise and criticism. Supporters applaud his defence of cultural identity and male headship of the household, while critics view his stance as outdated in an era where kneeling proposals have become a widely accepted romantic gesture, including in Nigeria. His son, actor Yul Edochie, has offered a more nuanced take, agreeing that kneeling is not traditional African culture and that he himself did not kneel, while stressing that the posture of a proposal does not determine the success or respect within a marriage. The debate continues as Nigerians weigh the balance between cultural preservation and modern expressions of love and commitment.