Never bite the finger that Feeds You
Yūsuf عليه السلام was a charming and irresistible young man. No sooner had he been brought in by his master than his master’s wife had a crush on him. She admired him greatly and was overwhelmed by his perfect look and impeccable character. Yūsuf was a cynosure of all eyes. And after failed attempts to impress and attract him to herself, she finally decided that it was time to shoot her shot. Allāh says:
وَرَاوَدَتْهُ الَّتِي هُوَ فِي بَيْتِهَا عَن نَّفْسِهِ وَغَلَّقَتِ الْأَبْوَابَ وَقَالَتْ هَيْتَ لَكَ ۚ
“And she, in whose house he was, attempted to seduce him. She bolted the doors and said: Come!”
Here, Yūsuf was being seduced by the wife of his boss. It wasn’t a bait. It was lust. She couldn’t contain it anymore, having watched him grown into such a handsome and responsible young man. She offered him free sexual intercourse on a platter of gold. But what did the young Yūsuf say? He not only rejected the offer, but also made a profound statement thus:
قَالَ مَعَاذَ اللَّهِ ۖ إِنَّهُ رَبِّي أَحْسَنَ مَثْوَايَ ۖ إِنَّهُ لَا يُفْلِحُ الظَّالِمُونَ
“He said: I seek refuge in Allāh! Lo! he is my lord, who hath treated me honorably. Wrong- doers never prosper.”
Commentators on the Qur’ān have interpreted the expression, “he is my lord” here to mean Yūsuf’s master. That is, “your husband, my master, has treated me well. Why then should I betray his kindness by sleeping with you, his wife?” This is the closest and more probable meaning of the verse.
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Yūsuf عليه السلام could not bring himself to biting the finger that feeds him. How could he have sexual intercourse with the wife of the man that not only accommodated him in his house, but also treated him like his own son! Allāh says:
وَقَالَ الَّذِي اشْتَرَاهُ مِن مِّصْرَ لِامْرَأَتِهِ أَكْرِمِي مَثْوَاهُ عَسَىٰ أَن يَنفَعَنَا أَوْ نَتَّخِذَهُ وَلَدًا ۚ
“The man from Egypt who bought him said to his wife, “Take good care of him, perhaps he may be useful to us or we may adopt him as a son.” (verse 21)
Yūsuf عليه السلام made it clear that no one bites the finger that feeds him (betrays his benefactor) and succeeds. Such would live a wretched life and will be punished in the hereafter (if Allāh doesn’t forgive him). Perhaps this is why Islām lays emphasis on kindness to parents. There’s no greater benefactor of man than his parents. After man’s absolute obedience to Allāh comes obedience and dutifulness to one’s parents (except in matters of disobedience to Allāh).
Says Allāh:
وَقَضَى رَبُّكَ أَلاَّ تَعْبُدُواْ إِلاَّ إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِندَكَ الْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَا أَوْ كِلاَهُمَا فَلاَ تَقُل لَّهُمَآ أُفٍّ وَلاَ تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُل لَّهُمَا قَوْلاً كَرِيمًا. وَاخْفِضْ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ الذُّلِّ مِنَ الرَّحْمَةِ وَقُل رَّبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِي صَغِيرًا
“Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none but Him, and that ye be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in thy life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honour. And, out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say: “My Lord! bestow on them thy Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood.” (17:23-24)
The worst form of betrayals is disobedience and arrogance towards one’s parents. The Messenger of Allāh صلى الله عليه وسلم listed it among the most grievous sins.
عَنْ عَبْدِ الرَّحْمَنِ بْنِ أَبِي بَكْرَةَ، عَنْ أَبِيهِ قَالَ: قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: «أَلَا أُحَدِّثُكُمْ بِأَكْبَرِ الكَبَائِرِ؟» قَالُوا: بَلَى يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ، قَالَ: «الإِشْرَاكُ بِاللَّهِ، وَعُقُوقُ الوَالِدَيْنِ
On the authority of Abdurrahmān bn Abī Bakrah, from his father, who said, the Messenger of Allāh said, “Shall I not inform you of the worst of the grave sins? They said, yes, O Apostle of Allāh! He said, “Associating partners in worship with Allāh and disobedience to one’s parents.”
May Allāh forgive us of our transgressions to our parents, rectify us and make us the coolness of their eyes.
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Equally evil is betraying the trust of one’s neigbhour by sleeping with his wife. Abdullāh bn Mas’ūd رضي الله عنه narrated that a man came to the Messenger of Allāh صلى الله عليه وسلم and said:
يا رسول الله، أي الذنب أكبر عند الله؟ قال: أن تدعو لله ندًّا وهو خلَقك، قال: ثم أي؟ قال: أن تقتل ولدَك مخافة أن يطعَمَ معك، قال: ثم أي؟ قال: أن تزانيَ حليلة جارك
“O Apostle of Allāh! Which is the greatest sin? He replied, “to set up a rival with Allāh while He it is alone that has created you.” He asked, then which? He replied: “To kill your son lest he should share your food with you.” He asked, “Then, which?” He said, “To commit illegal sexual intercourse with the wife of your neighbour.”
Thus, if having a secret affair with the wife of one’s neigbhour is third on the list of the most grievous sins, how evil will cheating on one’s benefactor with his wife be in the sight of Allāh?
How many friends today betray the bond of friendship by having affairs with the wives of their associates? Let those who engage in this filthy and heinous crimes know that they will never know peace or succeed in life.
Similarly, women who so betray their husbands by sleeping with husband’s employees (domestic workers), friends or relatives should fear Allāh and desist from such filthy habits. Betrayal in whatever form is evil and condemnable.
Finally, Yūsuf عليه السلام displayed one of the rare virtues of special candidates of Jannah. The Messenger of Allāh صلى الله عليه وسلم had said:
سبعة يظلهم الله في ظله يوم لا ظل إلا ظله
“Seven persons Allāh shall give protection under His Shade on the Day when there will be no shade except His Shade.”
Guess who one of those seven is?
رجل دعته امرأة ذات منصب وجمال، فقال: إنى أخاف الله
“A man whom a beautiful and high ranking woman seduces (for illicit relation), but he (rejects this offer by saying): ‘I fear Allah’.”
May Allāh grant us the strength of faith to reject satanic temptations and evil machinations.
Avoid Evil at All Cost
Following her failed attempt to seduce Yūsuf to have sexual intercourse with her, Yūsuf’s master’s wife became the subject of gossip and ridicule among the high and low women of the society. They said:
وَقَالَ نِسۡوَةٌ فِى الۡمَدِيۡنَةِ امۡرَاَتُ الۡعَزِيۡزِ تُرَاوِدُ فَتٰٮهَا عَنۡ نَّـفۡسِهٖۚ قَدۡ شَغَفَهَا حُبًّا ؕ اِنَّا لَـنَرٰٮهَا فِىۡ ضَلٰلٍ مُّبِيۡنٍ
“The wife of the ´Azîz (- Potiphar, the captain of king´s guard) seeks to seduce her young slave against his will. His love has indeed penetrated deep in her heart. Indeed, we see her in obvious error (in going too far in her love).” (verse 30)
Embarrassed by the public ridicule of her person, she organised a feast for her traducers in order to sway public opinion in her favour. Allāh says:
فَلَمَّا سَمِعَتۡ بِمَكۡرِهِنَّ اَرۡسَلَتۡ اِلَيۡهِنَّ وَاَعۡتَدَتۡ لَهُنَّ مُتَّكَـاً وَّاٰتَتۡ كُلَّ وَاحِدَةٍ مِّنۡهُنَّ سِكِّيۡنًا وَّقَالَتِ اخۡرُجۡ عَلَيۡهِنَّۚ فَلَمَّا رَاَيۡنَهٗۤ اَكۡبَرۡنَهٗ وَقَطَّعۡنَ اَيۡدِيَهُنَّ وَقُلۡنَ حَاشَ لِلّٰهِ مَا هٰذَا بَشَرًا ؕ اِنۡ هٰذَاۤ اِلَّا مَلَكٌ كَرِيۡمٌ
“Hearing of their sly talk the chief’s wife sent for those ladies, and arranged for them a banquet, and got ready couches, and gave each guest a knife. Then, while they were cutting and eating the fruit, she signalled Yūsuf: “Come out to them.” When the ladies saw him they were so struck with admiration that they cut their hands, exclaiming: “Allāh preserve us. This is no mortal human. This is nothing but a noble angel!”
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Having won the women to her side, she declared a full-scale war on Yūsuf, saying,
قَالَتۡ فَذٰلِكُنَّ الَّذِىۡ لُمۡتُنَّنِىۡ فِيۡهِؕ وَ لَـقَدۡ رَاوَدْتُّهٗ عَنۡ نَّـفۡسِهٖ فَاسۡتَعۡصَمَؕ وَلَـئِنۡ لَّمۡ يَفۡعَلۡ مَاۤ اٰمُرُهٗ لَـيُسۡجَنَنَّ وَلَيَكُوۡنًا مِّنَ الصّٰغِرِيۡنَ
“She said: “So now you see! This is the one regarding whom you reproached me. Indeed I tried to tempt him to myself but he held back, although if he were not to follow my order, he would certainly be imprisoned and humiliated.”
Thus, Yūsuf عليه السلام was faced with a difficult choice; he either consents to sleeping with his master’s wife, or he will be disgraced and sent to prison. His master’s wife did not mince words when she openly declared her affection for him as well as her willingness to have him make love to her.
However, so strong was the īmān of the young man and so brave was he that he immediately turned to his Lord for succor, preferring to rather go to jail than have sexual intercourse with his boss’s wife. He prayed thus:
قَالَ رَبِّ السِّجۡنُ اَحَبُّ اِلَىَّ مِمَّا يَدۡعُوۡنَنِىۡۤ اِلَيۡهِۚ وَاِلَّا تَصۡرِفۡ عَنِّىۡ كَيۡدَهُنَّ اَصۡبُ اِلَيۡهِنَّ وَاَكُنۡ مِّنَ الۡجٰهِلِيۡنَ
“He said: “My Lord! I prefer imprisonment to what they ask me to do. And if You do not avert from me the guile of these women, I will succumb to their attraction and lapse into ignorance.”
The young man prefers imprisonment to having sexual pleasure with his boss’s wife. He would rather rot in jail than take pleasure in illicit affairs. He was neither enticed by her elegance and position nor was he threatened by her wrath and fury. Prison is better and safer for me, he prayed.
The lesson here is that, no matter the circumstances, we must avoid evil and sin at all cost. So many people today are quick to trigger the doctrine of necessity even where it does not apply or even when resilience and more effort could have averted the evil. This is a sign of weakness.
How many times have we postponed the observance of Salāt just because we think it would be embarrassing to leave the meeting/tell.the commercial bus/car driver to pull over? The same driver that would pull over for people to answer the call of nature, cannot be told to pull over so that people can offer their Salāt?
How many times have we easily bowed to offering bribes or lying just to get through a situation that one could never have gotten through if it were not destined for one?
Recently, a friend told me how he turned down a ₦10,000,000 loan by someone who demanded to have sex with him via the anus as condition for the offer. And this was someone in so much distress and hardship that he can hardly feed his family. How many of us can be that strong in the face of calamity?
Some ladies have engaged in illicit affairs with their bosses to get promotion. Some students sleep with their lecturers to pass courses. Some people lie their way through to the top. All of these are evils that one must avoid at all cost.
The Messenger of Allāh صلى الله عليه وسلم said:
من ترك شيئاً لله عوضه الله خيراً منه
“Whoever leaves something for Allāh, Allāh will substitute for him something much better.”
Dr. Sanusi Lafiagi is a lecturer in Department of Islamic Studies, Al-Hikmah University Ilorin