Categories: Opinion

‘Aqd and Walīmatu’ n-Nikāh in Perspective

The word ‘aqd (عَقْدٌ plural عُقود) literally means ‘a bond’, ‘a covenant’ or ‘a contractual agreement’ between two or more people . In Qur’ān 5:1, Allāh says, يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا أَوْفُوا بِالْعُقُودِ “O believers! Fulfil your contract obligations…” A trade contract between a seller and a prospective buyer is an ‘aqd. Similarly, a business agreement between two partners (as in partnership business) is also an ‘aqd.

When prefixed to ‘Nikāh’, as in عقد النكاح ‘aqdun-Nikāh’, it connotes a ‘marriage contract/solemnization’. It’s a simple religious rite performed by the father of the prospective bride, his designate or her male guardian (mainly from her biological father’s family or her son, according to the ترتيب الأولياء sequence of guardians). It requires no ceremony or pomp. It’s simply an acceptance of marriage proposal by the prospective groom. زَوَّجْتُكَ بِنتِي فُلانَةَ “I’ve married my so and so daughter to you”, or any other expression that implies consent. In other qords, it’s a contract of ‘offer and acceptance.’

Walīmah (وَلِيمة) on the other hand connotes ‘a feast’. It’s defined literally as,

اجتماع مجموعة من الأشخاص الذين يعرفون بعضهم جميعاً أو يعرفون أحد الأشخاص في هذه الدعوة لتناول الطعام، غالباً بغرض الاحتفال أو لهدفٍ آخر

“A gathering of a group of people who are known to each other or who know one of the congregation for the purpose of eating food. Mostly, such occasions are as a result of celebration or for some other reasons..”

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When prefixed to Nikāh, as in Walīmatu’n-Nikāh (وَلِيمة النكاح) or (وليمة العِرس), it implies, ‘a wedding feast’. In contemporary usage, it’s otherwise known as wedding reception.

Ruling on ‘aqd and walīmatu’n-nikāh

According to the Shari’ah, ‘aqdun-Nikāh is a compulsory rite, for it’s the only activity that confers legality on marriage contracts. This is the express meaning of the words of the Most High, فَانْكِحُوهُنَّ بِإِذْنِ أَهْلِهِنَّ “Marry them with the permission of their family…” (4:25). This is explained by the hadīth of our mother, Ā’ishah (may Allāh be pleased with her), that the Messenger of Allāh ﷺ said:

” أيما امرأة نكحت بغير إذن وليها فنكاحها باطل فنكاحها باطل ، فنكاحها باطل

“Any woman who gets married without the permission of her guardian (waliyy), then her marriage is invalid.” (He repeated it three times.)

As for the Walīmatu n-Nikīh, then, it’s ruling is that it’s Sunnah (a recommended act), and not obligatory. Ibn Qudāmah, rahimahuLlāh said in Al-Mughnī:

لا خلاف بين أهل العلم في أن الوليمة سنة في العرس مشروعة، لما روي أن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم أمر بها وفعلها. فقال لعبد الرحمن بن عوف، حين قال: تزوجت: أولم ولو بشاة.. إلى أن قال: وليست واجبة في قول أكثر أهل العلم.

“There’s no difference of opinion among the scholars on the Waleematu n-Nikaah being a Sunnah (non-obligatory act) based on the report that the Prophet ﷺ said to ‘Abdurrahmān bn ‘awf, after the latter informed him about his marriage, “organize a feast, even if it’s with just one sheep”. (Ibn Qudāmah thus continues discussion on this matter) until he said, and (the walīmah of nikāh) is not compulsory in the view of most of the scholars.”

Simply put, while ‘aqdun-Nikāh is compulsory and inevitable, the Walīmatu’ n-Nikāh is not.

Who organises the walīmatu’n-nikāh?

Organizing the wedding feast is primarily the duty of the groom at his convenience (time and place). In the hadīth of ‘Abdurrahmān bn ‘awf cited earlier, the instruction was clearly directed at him. The Prophet ﷺ said, “May Allāh bless you. Organise a walīmah even if it is with (serving the meat of) just a sheep.”

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Note: ‘Abdurrahmān bn ‘awf was one of the wealthiest Muslims at the time. So the Prophet’s ( ﷺ) emphasis ‘even if with the meat of just a sheep’ was meant to indicate that he doesn’t need to necessarily expend much to organise the feast.

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymīn, rahimahuLlāh said: “It (the walīmah) is prescribed for the husband, because the Prophet ﷺ said to ‘Abdurrahmān ibn ‘Awf: “Give a walīmah,” and he did not tell his in-laws to do that. And because the blessing is greater for the husband than for the wife, because he is the one who sought the woman; it is very rare for the woman to seek the man.”

Al-Sharh al-Mumti’, 12/321

It’s important to emphasize this point because majority of Muslim parents (the brides’ especially) seem not to know/jettison this Sharī’ah. They assume that it’s their right to dictate the when and how a wedding feast should take place, and often put a lot of burden on their son-in-law. This mentality needs to change if indeed we desire a blissful marital life for our daughters. There’s no harm if there’s a joint agreement between both families on this issue, but to assume a draconian position, bullying the groom into taking forceful decisions is repugnant to justice, good conscience and natural laws.

When can the Walīmah be organised?

The most appropriate time for organizing the Walīmatu n-Nikāh is immediately after consummation of marriage. That is, after the first sexual intercourse between the newlyweds. Shaykh bn Taimiyyah rahimahullāh said:

ووقت الوليمة في حديث زينب وصفته تدل على أنه عقب الدخول.

“The time for organizing the walīmah, according to the hadīth of Zaynab bint Jahsh (one of the prophet’s wives) is after consummation.”

وجاء في مغني المحتاج: والأفضل فعلها بعد الدخول لأن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم لم يولم على نسائه إلا بعد الدخول. انتهى…

“Its also mentioned in ‘Mughnī al-Muhtāj’ of Al-Khatīb Ash-Sharbīnī, ‘and the most appropriate time to organize the walīmah is after consummation because the Prophet ﷺ never arranged a walīmah for any of his wives until after consummation.”

وفي مختصر خليل في الفقه المالكي: الوليمة مندوبة بعد البناء، قال في الشرح الكبير على مختصر خليل: والمعتمد أن كونها بعد البناء مندوب ثان فإن فعلت قبله أجزأت.

Similarly, it’s mentioned in ‘Mukhtasar al-Khalīl’ (a principal book on Mālikī fiqh), “The walīmah is prescribed after consummation.” It’s stated in ‘Ash-Sharh al-Kabīr, a commentary on Mukhtasar al-Khalīl’, “the position of the Madh-hab is that the walīmah should come after consummation. However, if it were done before then, that suffices.”

What next for couples after ‘aqd?

These days, one of the issues I’m dealing with is that of failed marriages after ‘aqd and before walīmah as a result of minor disagreements or loss of interest due to infatuation and lust. Some couples have disagreed over the legality or otherwise of living together before the walīmah is done or being in ‘Khalwah (seclusion without a third party) and having sexual intercourse. There are also cases of whether or not the lady will observe any iddah in case they got separated before consummation since they haven’t had the walīmah.

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Recently, I’ve heard of so many instances where the walīmah was delayed for months or even years after ‘aqd with spouses losing interest in each other. In between the ‘aqd and walīmah, some have found love elsewhere; some have had petty disagreements and irreconcilable differences and decided to call it quit.

One of the major causes of disagreements is whether or not couples can start being together in seclusion without the lady’s mahram. Some parents insist that their daughters cannot stay with their suitors after the ‘aqd until the walīmah is done. But the question is, can we still consider two lovers as strangers to each other after ‘aqd?

The Sharī’ah is very clear on this issue. What constitutes marriage and confers legitimacy of consummation on the couples is the ‘aqd by the bride’s father, his designate, or her guardian. As soon as the offer and acceptance had been done, he is permitted to be in seclusion with her and to enjoy her sexually and otherwise (with or without walīmah).

In the event that they separate after ‘aqd, and before consummation, there’s no ‘iddah (waiting period of 3 menstrual courses after divorce) on her. She’s also entitled to half of the mahr promised to her, if such agreement is reached. And if such agreement has not been reached, then, she’s entitled to some benefits based on what he can afford. But if it has been consummated, then, she will receive her full mahr and will do the ‘iddah. (Q. 2:236-237).

Admonition to parents and guardians

In this world of deceit and lies, where no one can absolutely be trusted, parents and guardians, and indeed bachelorettes live in serious dilemma as to which to follow between consummation before walīmah and after it. This fear is necessary to avoid being scammed by irresponsible brothers who ‘taste and dump’ sisters just a few months after marriage. Indeed we have heard about marriages that only lasted 4-7 months before Talāq. This is why most parents insist on waleemah before consummation.

However, I think that the only solution to this dilemma a return to the Sharī’ah, and not by trying to outsmart it. We have also witnessed wedding ceremonies of the rich and influential where millions of naira were spent on the reception, and which did not last but for a few months/years. And because the Sharī’ah implores us to be simple does not mean that we should be stupid.

The Messenger of Allāh ﷺ said, “If there comes to you one with whose character and religious commitment you are pleased, then give (your daughter or female relative under your care) to him in marriage…”. The onus is thus on the parents/guardians to make due diligence (note: not “checking it” with soothsayers) on their prospective son-in-law before consenting to the marriage. They should ask everyone that knows something about him; his siblings, friends, neighbors, colleagues, anyone. The family should designate a responsible and wise person to carryout a secret investigation about him. It may take months, but it surely guarantees that their daughter is not going into the wrong hands.

A sister told me last month that she’s afraid of leaving her two year old marriage because she acted against her father’s advice not to marry the brother (I don’t really know the reason for his objection as she never told me). Now, she’s tired of the marriage but fear what her father will say. Another said that after the ‘aqd, she realized that the guy only acted saint, that he lied his way into her heart. Now, she wants out, what should she do?

Conclusion

In conclusion, let’s all be sincere in all that we do, and stop embarrassing Islām. Do not delay your walīmah unnecessarily lest Shaytān causes dissent between you during the waiting period. Try ro make your walīmah simple, and affordable. Remember, wedding is just an event, marriage is the reality.

Dr. Sanusi Lafiagi is a lecturer in Department of Islamic Studies, Al-Hikmah University Ilorin

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