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‘I regret snatching my friend’s husband’

Published

2 days ago

January 5, 2025

‘I regret snatching my friend’s husband’

A Reader wrote: I have followed your columns way back from your Punch days when I was in the university. Most of the times, your articles are so down-to-earth they speak to me – as if you are writing about me. In one of the editions of Sunday Vanguard a few months back, you wrote about why second marriages might not work. I am a living example of that. I’d been married for over 12 years with three children when I changed jobs for a challenging management post in a bank. The salary almost doubled what I earned and I quickly made friends with a colleague who was about the same age. Her name is Tina and it was inevitable that both families met.

“We attended each other’s functions and Francis, Tina’s husband, was a particularly friendly chap. Tina had regaled me with stories of his affairs but I saw the reason why women found him attractive – he was dishy!

When Tina travelled abroad on a course and Francis came to the office, I wondered what he wanted. Thinking he needed help with his bank account, I went to him. But he said he just dropped by because he was lonely and missed Tina so much. He also missed her home-cooking. I was touched and promised to drop some packaged meals at his place. He was to put them in the freezer and help himself whenever he felt hungry.

“True to my word, I dropped the meals at the house of a very eager Francis. He offered to pay for them, but I refused. He insisted I stayed for a drink. To be frank with you, Francis had always intrigued me. I mean, he must have something special for all those women to be panting after him. So, when he made a pass at me, I didn’t resist. Like a lamb to the slaughter, I let him lead me to his matrimonial bed. I wasn’t disappointed – Francis really knew how to bonk! Why else was I risking my marriage for this? He made my head spin with his love-making, transporting me to places I never imagined possible.

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“That was how our affair started. So though Tina and I worked together, I parcelled off the guilty I felt at helping myself to her husband. I knew we were playing with fire – both of us were married with children and Tina, my friend, was the one who’d introduced me to her husband. That shows the extent of her trust and complacency in her marriage. Seun, my husband and I had since lost the magic of our early years. Even then, he wasn’t as hot as Francis was.

Comparing Seun to Francis was like comparing a Christmas sparkler to a rocket! My head had already been turned by Francis’ sizzling, scorching ways.

So the affair continued for about a year before the bubble burst. I was returning from another illicit date with Francis when my husband was waiting for me with a disgusted look on his face. “Tina just rang”, he spat. “She saw you with her husband coming out of a hotel. She said she’d become suspicious of her husband yet again and had followed him only to see both of you together.

“All the glow of our love-making drained out of me. “We are just friends having a meal together …” I panicked. Seun warned I shouldn’t insult his intelligence. Instead, I should be thinking of what to tell my friend when I faced her in the office the next day. As for this sham of marriage, Seun told me it was now dust. He couldn’t cope with the thought that his wife had been having a torrid affair with a supposed family friend for months. What I had was not a fling, he told me nastily, it was a relationship and I was now free to pursue my passion.

“The hardest part was facing Tina in the office. She made a scene and all eyes were on me as if I’d committed a crime. Our head of department invited us both to his office when he heard the commotion, and to be fair to him, he didn’t pass judgement. All he said was that we’d both fouled up the office atmosphere and one of us would have to be transferred to another branch. I quickly offered to go. I felt really awful at first. But Francis was really sorry for breaking up my marriage and quickly found me a flat, which I moved into with two of my children.

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“My eldest, a boy, decided to stay with his father. So that was how Francis and I became a reluctant couple, Tina stayed put in her matrimonial home – she’s used to her husband’s philandering. Whatever sadness I felt at the death of my marriage was quickly erased by Francis’ love-making. Fate put on its final seal when I discovered I was pregnant. It wasn’t planned and I was really angry with myself. Francis, on the other hand was delighted and before the baby was due, insisted on a traditional marriage. Seun had already instituted a divorce anyway and I would be a fool to contest it with a full-blown pregnancy!

“I couldn’t socialize because most of our friends were aware of what happened and they weren’t sympathetic – especially the married ones.

They openly disapproved of it. The birth of our son didn’t help much. I couldn’t find a convenient house help and when Francis visited, I wasn’t the temptress he was used to. But as soon as the boy was a toddler, we were back to a semblance of romance. Only as the years rolled by, I still felt like the other woman – but without the excitement and sparks. Tina still lived with her husband and when Francis took our son to visit his four other kids, my blood boiled because Tina would be there probably with her disapproving look.

“Seven years after my husband threw me out, passion with Francis now meant screaming arguments, not frenzied love-making. He’d since had a couple of affairs I was aware of and we kept falling out, then falling into each other’s arms. Only the making up because less and less. Seun had already remarried though he had a very good rapport with two of our children that lived with me. I’d made my bed, building it on deceit. Was lying in it now my just desert? It was then I started having panic attacks and palpitations. My doctor said it was stress-related. My illicit love life was affecting my health.

“Now that my complaints had become second nature, I saw Francis less and less. He’d bought us a flat in his son’s name and wasn’t really keen on sex. When I discovered he’d started yet another affair, it didn’t even bother me until I learnt that she was pregnant. Francis had always believed I had affairs from time to time. If I could do it when I was properly married, what stopped me from doing it now that I was a quasi wife? I couldn’t blame him really – betraying my ex-husband’s trust for a fling with him has damaged my credibility.

“As he spent more and more time with his younger wife, I saw very little of him. Tina is still married to him and he’s set up home with his younger lover. These days, on the few occasions I see Tina at official functions, she was gloat at me with a wry smile. A husband snatcher who’d been given a dose of her medicine. Thank goodness, I still have my job – it’s a stabilising force in a world of passion gone wrong …”

– Your faithful reader.

‘I regret snatching my friend’s husband’

Related Topics:friend’s husband Snatching

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Distribution of CNG buses tears NANS leaders apart

Published

10 hours ago

January 6, 2025

Trends Admin

Distribution of CNG buses tears NANS leaders apart

The leadership of the National Association of Nigeria Students, NANS, is currently grappling with a crisis over the distribution formula of Compressed Natural Gas, CNG, buses to higher institutions nationwide.

The faction has also passed a vote of no confidence on the two leaders.

The accusation was contained in a petition jointly signed by the Deputy Senate President, Dangote University of Science and Technology Wudil, Kano State; Comrade Huzaifa Sabo Usman, National ex-officio; Comrade Anderson Chimezie Uwakwe of the Federal College of Land and Resources Technology Owerri, Imo State, Vice President Special Duties; Egbo Johnpaul Nnamchi, Enugu State College of Education; Comrade Gundu Mimidoo Joy, Public Relations Officer, Federal University of Agriculture Makurdi, Benue State, Abdulkaman Muhammad; Comrade Muhd Muazu; Mamuna Bello; Paul Edoh Gabriel; Kabiru Saminu; and Okafor Ernest Obinna made available to newsmen Monday in Awka.

In the statement, a copy of which was also sent to President Bola Ahmed Tinubu, Director-General, Department of State Services, DSS Headquarters, Abuja; Inspector-General of Police, IGP, Force Headquarters, Abuja; EFCC; ICPC; SSA to the President on Students Affairs; Minister of Transportation; NANS Zonal Coordinators; NANS JCC Chairmen; as well as all SUG Presidents, asking particularly President Tinubu to urgently intervene to avoid a breakdown of law and order and to save his political integrity in the country.

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The petition read in part: His Excellency, Asiwaju Bola Ahmed Tinubu, President of the Federal Republic of Nigeria. Dear Sir, Petition against unequal distribution of CNG buses by the President, National Association of Nigerian Students, and a vote of no confidence on Lucky Emonefe and Babatunde Akinteye Afeez. On behalf of the Nigerian Students, we write to express our utmost indignation and disappointment at the egregious unequal distribution of the CNG buses recently donated to the National Association of Nigerian Students, NANS.

“This decision, made by the President of NANS, Comr. Lucky Emonofe, in collaboration with the Senate President, Comr. Babatunde Akinteye Afeez is a flagrant disregard for the principles of equity, justice, and transparency.”

“The buses meant to benefit all Nigerian students have been selectively distributed, leaving many students without access to this vital resource. This unequal distribution will inevitably lead to a shortage of transportation options within our campuses, causing undue hardship and economic challenges for Nigerian students.”

“The economic implications of this unequal distribution cannot be overstated. Many students rely on affordable transportation to commute from campuses, and the shortage of these buses will only exacerbate the economic challenges facing Nigerian students. This will lead to increased costs for alternative transportation, which will further burden students who are already struggling to cope with the situation”.

*Mr. President, we urge you to take immediate action by addressing this issue, as it will inevitably have far-reaching consequences on your political integrity. The unequal distribution of the buses will not only tarnish the image of NANS but also undermine the trust and confidence of students in your leadership, particularly during these economically challenging times across the country”.

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Gunmen kill 3 sons of Anambra native doctor

Published

10 hours ago

January 6, 2025

Trends Admin

Anambra State Police command’s spokesperson, DSP Toochukwu Ikenga

Gunmen kill 3 sons of Anambra native doctor

Gunmen have killed three children of a native doctor at their home in Nise community of Awka South Local Government Area, Anambra State.

The killers were said to have carried out the act on Saturday night by scaling the fence to gain entrance to the building.

It was learnt that the suspects dumped the corpses in a parked Mercedes Benz car in the compound before exiting.

Spokesman of Anambra State Police Command, SP Tochukwu Ikenga, told newsmen on Monday that a manhunt for the killers had begun.

“The assailants entered the compound, killed the victims and dumped their corpses inside a parked Mercedes Benz in the compound. The incident happened on Saturday, but we got the report late on Sunday.

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“We are trying to unravel the circumstances behind the killing, whether it was due to the negligence of their father or the motive of the suspect and as soon as we conclude our investigation, the report will be made public,” he said.

A source, who spoke on the condition of anonymity, said the bodies of the three boys, aged between six and two, were found with their mouths tied.

The source claimed the native doctor had a habit of locking up his children and wife in the house while he is out.

“The father of the victims was reported to have been having issues with some unconfirmed individuals. However, it cannot be determined if these conflicts led to the deaths of the three children or not,” the source added.

Gunmen kill 3 sons of Anambra native doctor

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Court to hear Speed Darlington’s N300m suit against IG Jan. 13

Published

11 hours ago

January 6, 2025

Trends Admin

Speed Darlington

Court to hear Speed Darlington’s N300m suit against IG Jan. 13

A Federal High Court in Abuja on Monday, fixed Jan. 13 to hear a N300 million fundamental rights enforcement suit filed by the detained Singer, Darlington Achakpo, popularly known as Speed Darlington.

He filed the lawsuit against the Inspector-General (I-G) of Police, Kayode Egbetokun.

Justice Musa Liman fixed the date after counsel for the singer, Abubakar Marshal, sought an adjournment to enable the I-G’s lawyer, Garba Audu, to study and to respond accordingly to the processes served on him in the open court.
The News Agency of Nigeria (NAN) reports that Justice Liman had, on Dec. 23, 2024, ordered the I-G to charge Speed Darlington to court or release him on bail unconditionally within 48 hours.

The judge made the order in a ruling on an ex-parte motion moved by a lawyer who appeared for Achakpo, David Ihuoma, and adjourned the matter until Jan. 6 for the hearing of the substantive case.

The News Agency of Nigeria (NAN) reports that Speed Darlington, 39, was allegedly arrested by the police over allegations of “defamation and cyberstalking” of the ace award-winning artiste, Damini Ogulu, aka Burna Boy but was released on bail on Oct. 8, 2024.

A lawyer and human rights activist, Deji Adeyanju alleged that Speed Darlington was apprehended in Lagos State following a petition by Burna Boy, and was moved to Abuja where he had been in detention.

Upon resuming hearing in the matter on Monday, Marshal informed the court that the matter was scheduled for hearing of the originating motion on notice for the enforcement of Achakpo’s fundamental rights.

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Although Audu said he was yet to be served with the process, the court however confirmed through the proof of service in the court record that the police were duly served.

The judge thereafter directed Marshal to avail Audu with a copy of the application in the open court.

Justice Liman then asked Marshal if the singer had been released but the lawyer responded in the negative.

Responding, Audu explained to the court that the I-G had already filed a criminal charge against Speed Darlington before the singer filed the motion ex-parte for his release.

He said the singer was admitted to administrative bail but allegedly jumped the bail.

The police lawyer said that the charge, which was filed before Justice Ekerete Akpan of Court 13, came up earlier in December 2024, but could not be heard.

He said an application was also written to the Chief Judge of the Federal High Court for the reassignment of the criminal matter to a vacation judge so that the defendant can be arraigned but all to no avail.

He explained that the criminal matter was now fixed for Jan. 15 for Speed Darlington’s arraignment before Justice Akpan.

The lawyer further explained that contrary to insinuation, the police did not flout the order of the court as it would have been difficult to arraign the defendant at the time the order was made going by the Christmas holiday.

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Marshal, therefore, prayed the court to direct the police to release the singer to him pending when he would be arraigned.

“We shall be applying pending the trial and arraignment of the applicant that your lordship make an order admitting him to bail.

“If my lord will, as ministers in the temple of justice, we will ensure his presence in court on the day of arraignment,” he said, but Audu opposed the application.

Justice Liman, who agreed that the police were not in deliberate disobedience to the court order, advised Audu to ensure Speed Darlington is released to Marshal, having undertook to produce him in court.

“I don’t see anything the police will lose if granted bail,” the judge advised.

He subsequently adjourned the matter until Jan. 13 for hearing of the substantive matter.

NAN reports that in the fundamental right suit marked: FHC/ABJ/CS/1832/2024, Speed Darlington sued I-G as sole respondent.

The artiste, who urged the court to declare that his arrest and detention violated his fundamental rights as guaranteed by the 1999 Constitution, sought four orders.

In the suit filed by Adeyanju, he sought an order directing the I-G to immediately and unconditionally release him from detention facility where he is being kept.

Alternatively, he sought an order mandating and compelling the I-G to produce him before the court to enable the court inquire into the circumstances constituting grounds of his arrest and detention and where it deems fit, admits him to bail.

He also sought “an order directing the respondent to pay the applicant the sum of N300,000,000.00 (Three Hundred Million Naira) only as general, exemplary and aggravating damages for their unlawful and continued detention since the 2024 till date.”

In the affidavit deposed to by Esther Eyisi, a secretary in the law firm, she alleged that Speed Darlington was first arrested on Oct. 4, 2024 for allegedly defaming Burna Boy.

She said he was illegally detained for five days and subjected to severe torture and maltreatment without being formally charged to a court of competent jurisdiction.

Eyisi averred that the artiste was eventually granted bail by the police after spending five days under inhumane conditions.

According to her, on Nov. 27, 2024, the applicant was arrested and detained by officers of respondent on the grounds that he allegedly jumped administrative bail.

This, she said, is inspite of notification from her client about his medical emergency and his inability to report on the scheduled date and obtaining the permission of the officers of the respondent to travel to Owerri, Imo for a performance.

She said the continuous detention of Speed Darlington without arraignment contravened his constitutional rights, describing him as the “breadwinner in his family.”