Love letter to Aisha Buhari - Newstrends
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Love letter to Aisha Buhari

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By Tunde Odesola
(Published in The PUNCH on Monday, March 22, 2021)
Dear Hajiya,
With gratitude to God for a vacation well spent, I, Babatunde Odesola, Esq., heartily rejoice on the safe return of the First Lady, Hajiya Aisha Buhari, to Nigeria after spending 4,380 hours in the cozy United Arab Emirates city called Dubai, away from the kisses and cuddles of her aged husband, Major General Muhammadu Buhari (retd.), and the scrutiny of his ineffective security forces.
Hajiya, I love you. Many people don’t know what we share. They don’t know we were both born on February 17. I’ve sorely missed your dazzling beauty in the last six months that you left the warmth of your husband’s bedroom to enjoy the breathtaking wonder of the 9.7-million-population UAE, a country 11 years younger and 12 times smaller than the giANT of Africa, breathless in the fist of your old sweetheart, Pa Buhari.
Going by the stunning beauties of their wives and rumoured concubines, Nigerian Heads of State between 1960 and 1999 appeared more adept at capturing the hearts of beauty queens than providing solutions to the problems of the country.
From General Johnson Aguiyi-Ironsi to General Yakubu Gowon as well as General Murtala Mohammed to General Olusegun Obasanjo and the bloody General Ibrahim Babangida along with the roguish General Sani Abacha, Nigerians can’t forget the vivacious appeal of Victoria Aguiyi-Ironsi, the wowing beauty of Victoria Gowon, the angelic grace of Ajoke Mohammed, the eyeful chicness of Stella Obasanjo, the shapely charm of Mariam Babangida, the exotic elegance of Maryam Abacha, and the brainy goddess, Lami, whom General Abdulsalami Abubakar hypnotized for a wife.
Hajiya Aisha, your beauty is smashing! I really don’t know how these generals swing it, but I’ve truly never seen a general with an ugly wife.
The alluring belle from the popular Majekodunmi family in Ogun, Omolola, belongs to the Okuku general, Olagunsoye Oyinlola, just as Ronke Ayuba, the adorable TV star, was general Tanko Ayuba’s. These generals! They just know how to cock their love guns at ladies’ hearts, aim and pull the triggers.
Tell me, irresistible Aisha, how did the old Katsina general ‘toast’ and capture the love of an extraordinary beauty like you at just 18, despite the 28 years age difference between both of you? Is he the lion and you, the jewel?
Hajiya Aisha, I welcome you back to the hell you left since last September, after the life-threatening shooting that occurred in your Aso Rock abode, upon your insistence that an untouchable aide of your husband comply with COVID-19 protocols.
Permit me to ask, madam, have your security guards, whose arrest you protested online after their shooting combat with presidential bodyguards, been released? Your husband’s mouthpiece, Shehu Garba, promised that the shooting would be investigated. Like every one of the electoral promises made by your husband, however, the outcome of the Garba-promised investigation will never see the light of the day, I’m sure.
Lady Buhari, I believe you’ll agree with me that if you, of all people, could be so trampled on in your husband’s administration, the brutal killing of scores of innocent #Endsars protesters at the Lekki toll gate by soldiers, last October, attests to the fascist in your husband.
Remember, Hajiya, you stridently raised the alarm some years ago that your husband had been held captive by some unknown forces. You insisted that he was no longer in charge of his government.
Madam Buhari, except maybe his cows, your husband had never been in charge of anything – not even in his famed military days when General Tunde Idiagbon took charge and he, Buhari, took the glory.
When your husband went to sleep after fulfilling his chronic ambition of becoming a civilian President, his Chief of Staff, Abba Kyari, saw his abandoned presidential shoes, dusted and stepped into them snuggly, taking full responsibility of governance.
After Kyari’s death, the shoes were, again, empty, and bandit politicians, killer-herdsmen, Boko Haram, brigands and sycophants have taken turns to wear them, spinning the country madly out of orbit towards hell as various miscued criminals now unleash anarchy in the land while your ‘mai gida’ remains cool, calm and collected like a motionless crocodile.
My dear hajiya, your husband has failed Nigeria woefully! Out of tune with reality, your presidential husband always avoids the Nigerian press but his countless embarrassing mistakes in public have necessitated concerned citizens to patriotically ask for his medical evaluation.
My First Lady, Nigeria’s situation has worsened since you escaped to the Arabian sanity. Now that you’re back into the lawless country your husband heads, I must warn you that Nigeria’s decline into depravity is now full-blown.
Please, Aisha, don’t get into any argument with any security guard as you did last year. A human head now costs N8,000 in Nigeria. If you’re lucky and timely, you can even get one for free among unclaimed corpses left to decay along Nigeria’s highways.
Life is worthless in the land ruled by your husband, Aisha. Scores of innocent people are now being killed, kidnapped and broken daily across the country, much more than the victims of war in Libya, Sudan, Somalia and Congo.
I love you Hajiya Aisha but I don’t love your husband because he’s an outstanding blunder. I love you because you occasionally speak up whenever your space is threatened. Some may say that’s selfish of you – that you need to always speak up against the vipers of injustice brooded by your husband’s administration. They say, “What is sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander.” Well, I won’t criticise their opinion.
Aisha nee Halilu, do you know that the UAE, like Nigeria, was built with oil money? But the UAE has long left Nigeria behind by diversifying their economy from oil dependency, launching it on science-tech-tourism superhighway. The picture of a rain-beaten church rat placed beside an elephant looms large on the horizon whenever Nigeria is compared to the UAE.
The wife of my President, the only difference between Nigeria and UAE is leadership, which your husband has tragically failed to give.
Nigeria, presided over by your thick-skinned husband, is the strangest country in the world. It’s a place where anyone can disappear without trace. Imagine, a whole you was out of circulation for six months, and there was no explanation from your husband, his friends, relatives and megaphones.
Everybody just carried on as if you don’t matter. Aisha, between you and me, I even think they were happy you were nowhere around to squeal on their incompetencies and stagnant governance.
During your undisclosed absence, my First Lady, so much water passed under the bridge. African Giant, Burna Boy and Ojuelegba crooner, Wizkid, won Grammy awards. I know your husband sees Nigerian youths as a population of lazybones. I think he’s likely to prefer Dan Maraya Jos music to the music by lazy youths. I was, however, shocked to read a prompt congratulatory message from your husband, extolling the virtues of Burna Boy and Wizkid.
Well, I know that the only arm of your husband’s government that’s effective is the ‘Public Service Announcement Department’ that sends out congratulations at the speed of light but sleeps when hundreds of schoolchildren are kidnapped and snores when Fulani herdsmen and Boko Haram kill for fun.
When EIGHT persons were killed in suspected anti-Asian shooting in Atlanta, Georgia, last week, President Joe Biden and his deputy, Kamala Harris, flew into Atlanta from Washington DC to commiserate with bereaved families.
Over a 100 people have died in various breaches of security across the country this year alone, but our President sits tight in Aso Rock, either unmoved or unaware.
Aisha, the masses that prayed for the enthronement of your husband as president are now praying to God to break the country and his government. It’s sad, your husband has failed.
Email: tundeodes2003@yahoo.com
Facebook: @tunde odesola
Twitter: @tunde_odesola

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Opinion

2027: Competence, Not Zoning, Should Decide Nigeria’s Next President — Imasuagbon

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Nigerians should look beyond ethnicity, region and the longstanding debate over rotational presidency when choosing the country’s next leader, according to a chieftain of the African Democratic Congress (ADC), Kenneth Imasuagbon.

The former Edo State governorship aspirant said the priority ahead of the 2027 election should be finding a president with the ability to confront Nigeria’s economic, security and infrastructure challenges.

Speaking to journalists in Benin, Imasuagbon argued that presidential rotation is not a requirement of the Nigerian Constitution and should therefore not outweigh the question of competence.

He said voters should be more concerned about replacing poor schools with better ones, improving healthcare and addressing hardship than debating where the next president comes from.

Imasuagbon specifically appealed to voters in the South to support former Vice President Atiku Abubakar, who is contesting the 2027 presidency on the ADC platform.

According to him, Atiku has demonstrated the experience and determination needed to improve the country, describing the former vice president as someone capable of promoting national unity and fairness.

He also accused the Bola Tinubu administration of worsening economic pressure through policies including the removal of fuel subsidy, while expressing concern about the condition of roads, electricity and other infrastructure.

Imasuagbon argued that the next administration must focus on practical improvements in areas such as power, transportation, employment, security and public services.

The ADC chieftain also dismissed the idea that the ruling All Progressives Congress (APC) would automatically benefit from its incumbency advantage in 2027.

He maintained that the electorate ultimately determines the outcome of an election, arguing that voters could change the political direction of the country if they were determined to do so.

Imasuagbon further criticised what he described as regional and ethnic considerations in the distribution of political appointments and opportunities, insisting that the next president should give Nigerians across different parts of the country a sense of belonging.

His comments come as political parties and their candidates intensify preparations for the 2027 presidential election.

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Lesson from Dotun Oladipo’s Brave Daughters, by Bamidele Johnson

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Lesson from Dotun Oladipo’s Brave Daughters, by Bamidele Johnson

 

I hope to grow old. I want to see my kids become real adults, find their own feet, make mistakes, recover from them, and perhaps one day complain that their own children are giving them grey hairs. I want that plainly stated before anything else, as everything that follows might read as a man agreeing to an early exit rather than a man simply being honest about the odds.

I want the decades. I want to become the grandfather who repeats the same stories until nobody bothers correcting him anymore. But wanting a thing and being granted are different things. The last year has made that difference harder to ignore than I would like. I have lost many friends recently to keep thinking that optimism is my natural resting state. Some of these men had better blood pressure than mine, better habits, better everything that is supposed to count. It did not save them.

There is no formula I know that reliably separates the men who make it to 70 from those who do not. Anyone who says he knows one is selling something. So, I do not assume that old age is an already booked destination. Even if I once did, which I doubt, the last three years have cured me of such an illusion. As such, I treat it as a hope rather than an expectation, and I have found that a more honest way to live.

It is exactly why I want something placed on record now, while I am still able to place things on record, rather than leave it for people to guess what my wishes were in the fog of a funeral week. If I do not make old bones, my children are not to be asked to read tributes at my funeral. Not one line, however short, however lovingly written.

This, for me, was settled today rather than re-opened. At Dotun Oladipo’s funeral service, his three daughters took turns to read their tributes to their dad, and I found myself watching them with awe. There was a kind of strength in them that I do not possess. It is the strength needed to stand in front of a hall brimming with grieving adults and speak about a man they have just lost. Forever. Strength, however, is not the same as ease. I could see plainly what that strength was costing them as they read. Their voices caught. Their composure held and then did not hold and then held again through sheer will.

In front of them, in the pews, men and women considerably older than them came undone in ways the girls themselves were somehow managing to resist. I went mightily close. Some of the sobbing was quiet, the type people try to fold into a handkerchief. Some of it was not quiet at all, the kind that announces itself whether or not you want it.

Those young women honoured their father with a grace that is beyond me. What they did was astonishing. So, what I am attempting is an observation of a custom I have now watched wound people. This was not the first time I had watched this particular ritual extract more than it should from people already running on fumes. I saw an earlier and harder version of it at a friend’s wake back in 2015.

The first son was called forward to read his father’s tribute, and he could not do it. He tried, but the words would not come, and he stood there in front of a crowd of mourners, with his grief simply refusing to organise itself into sentences. The officiating minister, rather than releasing him from the task, urged him to continue. I sat fizzing with sorrow and ire. He could not go on and, eventually, the minister accepted, but not before insisting a while longer than it should have reasonably taken. His younger brother was called up next, presumably on the theory that if one grieving son could not manage it, maybe another one could. He flunked it in the same way. Grief does not distribute itself more conveniently among siblings just because a programme has been printed and needs to be followed.

I have turned that memory over many times since, trying to work out why this part of the rites is treated as mandatory in the first place. I have not found a satisfying answer. Maybe it comes from a belief that a child’s words carry more weight than anyone else’s, which may even be true, but weight is exactly the problem when those carrying it are struggling to hold themselves together with nothing but adrenaline and the fear of dissolving in public.

Maybe it is simply inertia, the reason we still do a hundred things at funerals that nobody can explain the original purpose of. Either way, I have stopped looking for the justification. I no longer think one exists that is good enough to weigh against what I watched happen to that boy in 2015.

So, let this stand as my instruction rather than my preference, the kind of thing I would rather state plainly now than leave for my children to infer later from how uncertain I sound when the subject comes up in passing. If I do not get the old age I am hoping for, my children will not be asked to read a single word over my body. Someone else can speak for me. A friend, a stranger with a steadier voice and a smaller stake in the loss, anyone whose grief will not be quite so total that standing upright becomes almost impossible.

My children, of course, will sit in front and fall apart if that is what the day requires of them, but without the microphone. That, at least, is one small mercy I intend to arrange for them while I am still here to arrange it.

Dotun deserved every bit of the send-off his daughters gave him today, and I suspect he would have been the first to tell them to sit down and let someone else carry the weight for a while. He did not get a say in that, as none of us ever do once we are the ones being spoken of rather than the ones speaking. Rest well, Dotun. You raised three young women whose strength I will not soon forget. That alone says everything worth saying about the man you were.

 

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‘Tinubu Will Win Again in 2027’ — Charismatic Bishops’ Secretary

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‘Tinubu Will Win Again in 2027’ — Charismatic Bishops’ Secretary

A senior Nigerian cleric, Archbishop Chivir Chianson, has declared that President Bola Tinubu will retain the presidency after the 2027 general election, attributing the prediction to a message he said came from God.

Chianson, who serves as Secretary General of the Charismatic Bishops’ Conference of Nigeria, made the statement while appearing on Arise Television on Saturday.

Rather than basing his prediction on political calculations, the archbishop said his confidence came from what he described as the prophetic role of bishops.

He maintained that the conference had previously spoken about Tinubu’s political future based on what he said was divine revelation and that the President would return for another term.

Chianson also predicted that Tinubu’s performance would improve if he wins the 2027 election.

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Addressing the political opposition, the cleric said the bishops could not be blamed if rival parties failed to unite or organise themselves effectively ahead of the election.

He also sought to clarify the position of the bishops when dealing with government, saying their role in speaking truth to power did not mean they should approach political leaders with hostility or disrespect.

According to him, the Constitution, alongside their religious convictions, should guide how they engage the President and the country.

Chianson said he was sufficiently confident in his prediction to promise that he would return to the Arise TV studio after the 2027 election, when he expects the result to demonstrate that the bishops’ prophecy was correct.

His comments add a religious dimension to the increasingly active political conversation surrounding the 2027 presidential race.

‘Tinubu Will Win Again in 2027’ — Charismatic Bishops’ Secretary

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