Reflections on Sūratu Yūsuf: Lessons For Everyday Life (3): Never bite the finger that Feeds You - Newstrends
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Reflections on Sūratu Yūsuf: Lessons For Everyday Life (3): Never bite the finger that Feeds You

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Never bite the finger that Feeds You

Yūsuf عليه السلام was a charming and irresistible young man. No sooner had he been brought in by his master than his master’s wife had a crush on him. She admired him greatly and was overwhelmed by his perfect look and impeccable character. Yūsuf was a cynosure of all eyes. And after failed attempts to impress and attract him to herself, she finally decided that it was time to shoot her shot. Allāh says:
وَرَاوَدَتْهُ الَّتِي هُوَ فِي بَيْتِهَا عَن نَّفْسِهِ وَغَلَّقَتِ الْأَبْوَابَ وَقَالَتْ هَيْتَ لَكَ ۚ
“And she, in whose house he was, attempted to seduce him.  She bolted the doors and said: Come!”
Here, Yūsuf was being seduced by the wife of his boss. It wasn’t a bait. It was lust. She couldn’t contain it anymore, having watched him grown into such a handsome and responsible young man. She offered him free sexual intercourse on a platter of gold. But what did the young Yūsuf say? He not only rejected the offer, but also made a profound statement thus:
قَالَ مَعَاذَ اللَّهِ ۖ إِنَّهُ رَبِّي أَحْسَنَ مَثْوَايَ ۖ إِنَّهُ لَا يُفْلِحُ الظَّالِمُونَ
“He said: I seek refuge in Allāh! Lo! he is my lord, who hath treated me honorably. Wrong- doers never prosper.”
Commentators on the Qur’ān have interpreted the expression, “he is my lord” here to mean Yūsuf’s master. That is, “your husband, my master, has treated me well. Why then should I betray his kindness by sleeping with you, his wife?” This is the closest and more probable meaning of the verse.
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Yūsuf عليه السلام could not bring himself to biting the finger that feeds him. How could he have sexual intercourse with the wife of the man that not only accommodated him in his house, but also treated him like his own son! Allāh says:
وَقَالَ الَّذِي اشْتَرَاهُ مِن مِّصْرَ لِامْرَأَتِهِ أَكْرِمِي مَثْوَاهُ عَسَىٰ أَن يَنفَعَنَا أَوْ نَتَّخِذَهُ وَلَدًا ۚ
“The man from Egypt who bought him said to his wife, “Take good care of him, perhaps he may be useful to us or we may adopt him as a son.” (verse 21)
Yūsuf عليه السلام made it clear that no one bites the finger that feeds him (betrays his benefactor) and succeeds. Such would live a wretched life and will be punished in the hereafter (if Allāh doesn’t forgive him). Perhaps this is why Islām lays emphasis on kindness to parents. There’s no greater benefactor of man than his parents. After man’s absolute obedience to Allāh comes obedience and dutifulness to one’s parents (except in matters of disobedience to Allāh).
Says Allāh:
وَقَضَى رَبُّكَ أَلاَّ تَعْبُدُواْ إِلاَّ إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِندَكَ الْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَا أَوْ كِلاَهُمَا فَلاَ تَقُل لَّهُمَآ أُفٍّ وَلاَ تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُل لَّهُمَا قَوْلاً كَرِيمًا. وَاخْفِضْ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ الذُّلِّ مِنَ الرَّحْمَةِ وَقُل رَّبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِي صَغِيرًا
“Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none but Him, and that ye be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in thy life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honour. And, out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say: “My Lord! bestow on them thy Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood.” (17:23-24)
The worst form of betrayals is disobedience and arrogance towards one’s parents. The Messenger of Allāh صلى الله عليه وسلم listed it among the most grievous sins.
عَنْ عَبْدِ الرَّحْمَنِ بْنِ أَبِي بَكْرَةَ، عَنْ أَبِيهِ قَالَ: قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: «أَلَا أُحَدِّثُكُمْ بِأَكْبَرِ الكَبَائِرِ؟» قَالُوا: بَلَى يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ، قَالَ: «الإِشْرَاكُ بِاللَّهِ، وَعُقُوقُ الوَالِدَيْنِ
On the authority of Abdurrahmān bn Abī Bakrah, from his father, who said, the Messenger of Allāh said, “Shall I not inform you of the worst of the grave sins? They said, yes, O Apostle of Allāh! He said, “Associating partners in worship with Allāh and disobedience to one’s parents.”
May Allāh forgive us of our transgressions to our parents, rectify us and make us the coolness of their eyes.
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Equally evil is betraying the trust of one’s neigbhour by sleeping with his wife. Abdullāh bn Mas’ūd رضي الله عنه narrated that a man came to the Messenger of Allāh صلى الله عليه وسلم and said:
يا رسول الله، أي الذنب أكبر عند الله؟ قال: أن تدعو لله ندًّا وهو خلَقك، قال: ثم أي؟ قال: أن تقتل ولدَك مخافة أن يطعَمَ معك، قال: ثم أي؟ قال: أن تزانيَ حليلة جارك
“O Apostle of Allāh! Which is the greatest sin? He replied, “to set up a rival with Allāh while He it is alone that has created you.” He asked, then which? He replied: “To kill your son lest he should share your food with you.” He asked, “Then, which?” He said, “To commit illegal sexual intercourse with the wife of your neighbour.”
Thus, if having a secret affair with the wife of one’s neigbhour is third on the list of the most grievous sins, how evil will cheating on one’s benefactor with his wife be in the sight of Allāh?
How many friends today betray the bond of friendship by having affairs with the wives of their associates? Let those who engage in this filthy and heinous crimes know that they will never know peace or succeed in life.
Similarly, women who so betray their husbands by sleeping with husband’s employees (domestic workers), friends or relatives should fear Allāh and desist from such filthy habits. Betrayal in whatever form is evil and condemnable.
Finally, Yūsuf عليه السلام displayed one of the rare virtues of special candidates of Jannah. The Messenger of Allāh صلى الله عليه وسلم had said:
سبعة يظلهم الله في ظله يوم لا ظل إلا ظله
“Seven persons Allāh shall give protection under His Shade on the Day when there will be no shade except His Shade.”
Guess who one of those seven is?
رجل دعته امرأة ذات منصب وجمال، فقال‏:‏ إنى أخاف الله
“A man whom a beautiful and high ranking woman seduces (for illicit relation), but he (rejects this offer by saying): ‘I fear Allah’.”
May Allāh grant us the strength of faith to reject satanic temptations and evil machinations.

Avoid Evil at All Cost

Following her failed attempt to seduce Yūsuf to have sexual intercourse with her, Yūsuf’s master’s wife became the subject of gossip and ridicule among the high and low women of the society. They said:
وَقَالَ نِسۡوَةٌ فِى الۡمَدِيۡنَةِ امۡرَاَتُ الۡعَزِيۡزِ تُرَاوِدُ فَتٰٮهَا عَنۡ نَّـفۡسِهٖ​ۚ قَدۡ شَغَفَهَا حُبًّا​ ؕ اِنَّا لَـنَرٰٮهَا فِىۡ ضَلٰلٍ مُّبِيۡنٍ‏
“The wife of the ´Azîz (- Potiphar, the captain of king´s guard) seeks to seduce her young slave against his will. His love has indeed penetrated deep in her heart. Indeed, we see her in obvious error (in going too far in her love).” (verse 30)
Embarrassed by the public ridicule of her person, she organised a feast for her traducers in order to sway public opinion in her favour. Allāh says:
فَلَمَّا سَمِعَتۡ بِمَكۡرِهِنَّ اَرۡسَلَتۡ اِلَيۡهِنَّ وَاَعۡتَدَتۡ لَهُنَّ مُتَّكَـاً وَّاٰتَتۡ كُلَّ وَاحِدَةٍ مِّنۡهُنَّ سِكِّيۡنًا وَّقَالَتِ اخۡرُجۡ عَلَيۡهِنَّ​ۚ فَلَمَّا رَاَيۡنَهٗۤ اَكۡبَرۡنَهٗ وَقَطَّعۡنَ اَيۡدِيَهُنَّ وَقُلۡنَ حَاشَ لِلّٰهِ مَا هٰذَا بَشَرًا ؕ اِنۡ هٰذَاۤ اِلَّا مَلَكٌ كَرِيۡمٌ‏
“Hearing of their sly talk the chief’s wife sent for those ladies, and arranged for them a banquet, and got ready couches, and gave each guest a knife. Then, while they were cutting and eating the fruit, she signalled Yūsuf: “Come out to them.” When the ladies saw him they were so struck with admiration that they cut their hands, exclaiming: “Allāh preserve us. This is no mortal human. This is nothing but a noble angel!”
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Having won the women to her side, she declared a full-scale war on Yūsuf, saying,
قَالَتۡ فَذٰلِكُنَّ الَّذِىۡ لُمۡتُنَّنِىۡ فِيۡهِ​ؕ وَ لَـقَدۡ رَاوَدْتُّهٗ عَنۡ نَّـفۡسِهٖ فَاسۡتَعۡصَمَ​ؕ وَلَـئِنۡ لَّمۡ يَفۡعَلۡ مَاۤ اٰمُرُهٗ لَـيُسۡجَنَنَّ وَلَيَكُوۡنًا مِّنَ الصّٰغِرِيۡنَ‏
“She said: “So now you see! This is the one regarding whom you reproached me. Indeed I tried to tempt him to myself but he held back, although if he were not to follow my order, he would certainly be imprisoned and humiliated.”
Thus, Yūsuf عليه السلام was faced with a difficult choice; he either consents to sleeping with his master’s wife, or he will be disgraced and sent to prison. His master’s wife did not mince words when she openly declared her affection for him as well as her willingness to have him make love to her.
However, so strong was the īmān of the young man and so brave was he that he immediately turned to his Lord for succor, preferring to rather go to jail than have sexual intercourse with his boss’s wife. He prayed thus:
قَالَ رَبِّ السِّجۡنُ اَحَبُّ اِلَىَّ مِمَّا يَدۡعُوۡنَنِىۡۤ اِلَيۡهِ​ۚ وَاِلَّا تَصۡرِفۡ عَنِّىۡ كَيۡدَهُنَّ اَصۡبُ اِلَيۡهِنَّ وَاَكُنۡ مِّنَ الۡجٰهِلِيۡنَ‏
“He said: “My Lord! I prefer imprisonment to what they ask me to do. And if You do not avert from me the guile of these women, I will succumb to their attraction and lapse into ignorance.”
The young man prefers imprisonment to having sexual pleasure with his boss’s wife. He would rather rot in jail than take pleasure in illicit affairs. He was neither enticed by her elegance and position nor was he threatened by her wrath and fury. Prison is better and safer for me, he prayed.
The lesson here is that, no matter the circumstances, we must avoid evil and sin at all cost. So many people today are quick to trigger the doctrine of necessity even where it does not apply or even when resilience and more effort could have averted the evil. This is a sign of weakness.
How many times have we postponed the observance of Salāt just because we think it would be embarrassing to leave the meeting/tell.the commercial bus/car driver to pull over? The same driver that would pull over for people to answer the call of nature, cannot be told to pull over so that people can offer their Salāt?
How many times have we easily bowed to offering bribes or lying just to get through a situation that one could never have gotten through if it were not destined for one?
Recently, a friend told me how he turned down a ₦10,000,000 loan by someone who demanded to have sex with him via the anus as condition for the offer. And this was someone in so much distress and hardship that he can hardly feed his family. How many of us can be that strong in the face of calamity?
Some ladies have engaged in illicit affairs with their bosses to get promotion. Some students sleep with their lecturers to pass courses. Some people lie their way through to the top. All of these are evils that one must avoid at all cost.
The Messenger of Allāh صلى الله عليه وسلم said:
من ترك شيئاً لله عوضه الله خيراً منه
“Whoever leaves something for Allāh, Allāh will substitute for him something much better.”

Dr. Sanusi Lafiagi is a lecturer in Department of Islamic Studies, Al-Hikmah University Ilorin

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Ortom and His 23 Cars’ ‘Bonus’, by Dele Sobowale

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Dele Sobowale
Dele Sobowale

Ortom and His 23 Cars’ ‘Bonus’, by Dele Sobowale

“As I talk to you, after I left office, vehicles that were given to me legitimately by government, this government went and seized them in a manner that was not befitting.” – Former Governor Samuel Ortom of Benue State

Last week, former Governor Donald Duke of Cross River declared that military rule was, in many respects, better than civil rule since 1999.

I cannot agree more.

I had the privilege of visiting about seven former military governors before 1999.

No military governor had up to 23 cars assigned to the Governor’s Office or residence.

By contrast, since 1999, a civilian governor with only 23 cars in the office alone would be regarded as extremely prudent.

Many have 50 or more.

Ortom’s 23 cars have triggered a dispute. Governors, on their way out of office, routinely take what they deem as their entitlements and thus render their states poorer than they met them.

Most commentaries on Ortom’s 23 cars have been superficial.

The impression they have created is that only 23 cars were taken away.

Nothing can be further from the truth.

Ortom was not the only beneficiary of that largesse.

It is quite possible that over 100 cars were taken away as parting gifts – with Ortom’s approval – as I will explain shortly.

Ortom revealed the hidden truth by saying, with a straight face, that the vehicles were allocated to him and other members of his administration through the State Executive Council, SEC, after they had been used for more than four years.

It was the worst defence for an assault on public funds ever uttered by a former official.

It provided a window into the minds of top government officials everywhere – irrespective of political party affiliation.

Every State Executive Council, SEC, comprises the governor, the deputy governor, the Secretary to the State Government and commissioners.

All the others are selected or appointed by the governor and, with the exception of the deputy governor, can be removed from office.

In other words, the SEC is created by the governor and can take no independent decision of its own.

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It is not an autonomous body.

Stripped of the subterfuge surrounding it, the decision to allocate 23 cars to Ortom amounted to the governor deciding to go home with the cars and getting his echoes in the SEC to endorse it.

Ortom, inadvertently, disclosed that more cars than 23 were driven home by his government officials when he claimed that the SEC allocated the vehicles in dispute to him “and other members of his administration”.

Since “the other members of his administration” start with the SEC, it stands to reason that the deputy governor, the Secretary to the State Government, all the commissioners, the Chief of Staff, several Special Advisers, heads of state agencies, etc., were also allowed to go home with cars declared over four years old – even if by one day.

Nobody has documented the number of cars Ortom and “the other members of his administration” took away. Over 100 vehicles might be involved.

That leads to the next question because it strikes at the heart of why poverty is increasing in Nigeria.

IS A CAR FOUR YEARS OLD READY FOR THE JUNKYARD?

Most Nigerians known to me, including those driving corporate official cars, are driving vehicles more than five years old.

Mine is 12 years old and can still break the speed limit anywhere in the world.

I also own a LAGRIDE taxi, now four years old.

The Chinese-made car was offered four years ago at N4.8 million, with a down payment of N1.82 million and the balance to be paid in instalments. Today, the car costs N25 million new, and offers have been made to buy my used one for N11–N13 million.

Obviously, when any government gives away, at far less than market value, to departing officials, the public loses.

Ortom’s 23 cars, as well as the others allocated to members of his administration, would have fetched almost five times what the officials paid for them.

To put the matter in perspective, Benue State would have to pay nothing less than N6 trillion just to replace the vehicles.

Left untouched is the question: What else was taken away – furniture, generators, air-conditioners, borehole pumps?

Outgoing officials are never satisfied with taking cars with them.

“Laws grind the poor, and rich [as well as powerful] men rule the law.” – Oliver Goldsmith, 1728–1774

The other half of his self-defence concerns the legality of the allocations.

That the law is an ass has been well established; so is the fact that what we often call law might be injustice codified.

Strictly speaking, everything Abacha did was supported by laws passed as decrees. Justice was never considered.

Civilian governments also make laws which are inherently unjust to the masses.

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The regulation allowing some public servants appointed by the governor to take away very useful public properties cannot be regarded as equitable, given the fact that those who served for 30 or 35 years cannot take away a single pin without being prosecuted.

What exactly does an outgoing governor want to do with 23 cars?

MEANWHILE, GOVERNOR ALIA SETS BACK DEMOCRACY IN BENUE

Governor Hyacinth Alia, a Catholic cleric, honourably fought for justice by having the 23 cars taken away by Ortom retrieved.

It is not clear whether other cars allocated by Ortom’s SEC members were also seized.

If not, the measure would appear personal and discriminatory.

It would appear to be partial justice and tainted with vendetta.

Frequently, individuals transiently invested with near-absolute power, like Nigerian governors, cross the thin line between the divine and the ridiculous within a short time.

When Alia, for the second time, blocked Peter Obi from moving freely about in Benue State, he betrayed democracy and the Constitution of Nigeria he swore to uphold.

He failed the democracy test. He even failed the test of advanced education.

His tenure is limited by the Constitution. Obviously, he will become an ex-governor one day – without armed escorts to protect him and clear the way.

He has established a precedent which will make it legitimate for any governor in Nigeria to block his right of passage.

Two examples in Nigerian history should serve as a warning to Alia.

Military Head of State Obasanjo passed the decree under which General Gowon would have been executed in 1976 – if Britain had not granted the deposed leader political asylum.

The same decree, with slight amendment, was used by Abacha to nail his former boss.

He was saved by divine intervention.

Malam El-Rufai, as governor of Kaduna State, had critics living in other states arrested, brought to Kaduna State and detained without bail for days – before media protests got them released on bail.

Today, El-Rufai is in detention by the DSS and ICPC, without bail for almost six months.

The same media, held in contempt by El-Rufai, has now undertaken the campaign to get him released.

As one of our founding fathers, Dr Nnamdi Azikiwe, reminded us before passing to eternal life: “No condition is permanent.”

Governor Alia should climb down from his high horse and apologise to Obi and Nigerians.

 

Ortom and His 23 Cars’ ‘Bonus’, by Dele Sobowale

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2027: Competence, Not Zoning, Should Decide Nigeria’s Next President — Imasuagbon

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Nigerians should look beyond ethnicity, region and the longstanding debate over rotational presidency when choosing the country’s next leader, according to a chieftain of the African Democratic Congress (ADC), Kenneth Imasuagbon.

The former Edo State governorship aspirant said the priority ahead of the 2027 election should be finding a president with the ability to confront Nigeria’s economic, security and infrastructure challenges.

Speaking to journalists in Benin, Imasuagbon argued that presidential rotation is not a requirement of the Nigerian Constitution and should therefore not outweigh the question of competence.

He said voters should be more concerned about replacing poor schools with better ones, improving healthcare and addressing hardship than debating where the next president comes from.

Imasuagbon specifically appealed to voters in the South to support former Vice President Atiku Abubakar, who is contesting the 2027 presidency on the ADC platform.

According to him, Atiku has demonstrated the experience and determination needed to improve the country, describing the former vice president as someone capable of promoting national unity and fairness.

He also accused the Bola Tinubu administration of worsening economic pressure through policies including the removal of fuel subsidy, while expressing concern about the condition of roads, electricity and other infrastructure.

Imasuagbon argued that the next administration must focus on practical improvements in areas such as power, transportation, employment, security and public services.

The ADC chieftain also dismissed the idea that the ruling All Progressives Congress (APC) would automatically benefit from its incumbency advantage in 2027.

He maintained that the electorate ultimately determines the outcome of an election, arguing that voters could change the political direction of the country if they were determined to do so.

Imasuagbon further criticised what he described as regional and ethnic considerations in the distribution of political appointments and opportunities, insisting that the next president should give Nigerians across different parts of the country a sense of belonging.

His comments come as political parties and their candidates intensify preparations for the 2027 presidential election.

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Lesson from Dotun Oladipo’s Brave Daughters, by Bamidele Johnson

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Lesson from Dotun Oladipo’s Brave Daughters, by Bamidele Johnson

 

I hope to grow old. I want to see my kids become real adults, find their own feet, make mistakes, recover from them, and perhaps one day complain that their own children are giving them grey hairs. I want that plainly stated before anything else, as everything that follows might read as a man agreeing to an early exit rather than a man simply being honest about the odds.

I want the decades. I want to become the grandfather who repeats the same stories until nobody bothers correcting him anymore. But wanting a thing and being granted are different things. The last year has made that difference harder to ignore than I would like. I have lost many friends recently to keep thinking that optimism is my natural resting state. Some of these men had better blood pressure than mine, better habits, better everything that is supposed to count. It did not save them.

There is no formula I know that reliably separates the men who make it to 70 from those who do not. Anyone who says he knows one is selling something. So, I do not assume that old age is an already booked destination. Even if I once did, which I doubt, the last three years have cured me of such an illusion. As such, I treat it as a hope rather than an expectation, and I have found that a more honest way to live.

It is exactly why I want something placed on record now, while I am still able to place things on record, rather than leave it for people to guess what my wishes were in the fog of a funeral week. If I do not make old bones, my children are not to be asked to read tributes at my funeral. Not one line, however short, however lovingly written.

This, for me, was settled today rather than re-opened. At Dotun Oladipo’s funeral service, his three daughters took turns to read their tributes to their dad, and I found myself watching them with awe. There was a kind of strength in them that I do not possess. It is the strength needed to stand in front of a hall brimming with grieving adults and speak about a man they have just lost. Forever. Strength, however, is not the same as ease. I could see plainly what that strength was costing them as they read. Their voices caught. Their composure held and then did not hold and then held again through sheer will.

In front of them, in the pews, men and women considerably older than them came undone in ways the girls themselves were somehow managing to resist. I went mightily close. Some of the sobbing was quiet, the type people try to fold into a handkerchief. Some of it was not quiet at all, the kind that announces itself whether or not you want it.

Those young women honoured their father with a grace that is beyond me. What they did was astonishing. So, what I am attempting is an observation of a custom I have now watched wound people. This was not the first time I had watched this particular ritual extract more than it should from people already running on fumes. I saw an earlier and harder version of it at a friend’s wake back in 2015.

The first son was called forward to read his father’s tribute, and he could not do it. He tried, but the words would not come, and he stood there in front of a crowd of mourners, with his grief simply refusing to organise itself into sentences. The officiating minister, rather than releasing him from the task, urged him to continue. I sat fizzing with sorrow and ire. He could not go on and, eventually, the minister accepted, but not before insisting a while longer than it should have reasonably taken. His younger brother was called up next, presumably on the theory that if one grieving son could not manage it, maybe another one could. He flunked it in the same way. Grief does not distribute itself more conveniently among siblings just because a programme has been printed and needs to be followed.

I have turned that memory over many times since, trying to work out why this part of the rites is treated as mandatory in the first place. I have not found a satisfying answer. Maybe it comes from a belief that a child’s words carry more weight than anyone else’s, which may even be true, but weight is exactly the problem when those carrying it are struggling to hold themselves together with nothing but adrenaline and the fear of dissolving in public.

Maybe it is simply inertia, the reason we still do a hundred things at funerals that nobody can explain the original purpose of. Either way, I have stopped looking for the justification. I no longer think one exists that is good enough to weigh against what I watched happen to that boy in 2015.

So, let this stand as my instruction rather than my preference, the kind of thing I would rather state plainly now than leave for my children to infer later from how uncertain I sound when the subject comes up in passing. If I do not get the old age I am hoping for, my children will not be asked to read a single word over my body. Someone else can speak for me. A friend, a stranger with a steadier voice and a smaller stake in the loss, anyone whose grief will not be quite so total that standing upright becomes almost impossible.

My children, of course, will sit in front and fall apart if that is what the day requires of them, but without the microphone. That, at least, is one small mercy I intend to arrange for them while I am still here to arrange it.

Dotun deserved every bit of the send-off his daughters gave him today, and I suspect he would have been the first to tell them to sit down and let someone else carry the weight for a while. He did not get a say in that, as none of us ever do once we are the ones being spoken of rather than the ones speaking. Rest well, Dotun. You raised three young women whose strength I will not soon forget. That alone says everything worth saying about the man you were.

 

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