Yes, sex can be messy, but it is also great fun.
Think of you eating any of our local Nigerian dishes, with your bare hands, the soup running down your hand and you lap it up with your tongue…craving every drop, not wanting any to go to waste…that’s how sweet and messy sex should be.
Yet, unfortunately, sex is seen as a dirty act that should be made clean and controlled Sadly, we have been taught to believe that our genitals and all it entails…from fluids to smells, are things to be ashamed of. This greatly affects our perception and acceptance of our bodies and how we respond sexually.
The truth is that you are not as dirty as you think.
A lot of people are in perpetual fear of smelling or tasting bad to their partners. These fears and disgust are mostly gotten from the myths about odours and bodily functions that produce them.
After normal body hygiene has been taken care of, these body functions are normal and not dirty at all.
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Still, no one wants to be told, they smell bad. It is a big turn off.
Let’s analyse some of these seemingly offensive fluids:
Saliva: also known as spit, is produced in the mouth. It is odourless, except you just ate something that has a strong flavour or you have oral health issues. Saliva is functional sexually in kissing, oral sex, and sometimes as a lubricant.
Sweat: sweat is totally natural — it’s our body’s way of keeping us from getting overheated. Sex can be a workout, but even if you’re having slow and lazy sex, you’ll probably notice a bit of extra perspiration. Still, a lot of people find their partner sweating to be a turn-on
Male pre-ejaculatory fluid: this is secreted in the early stages of arousal. It is also referred to as pre-cum. It is clear and slippery and can be used as lubrication. The smell varies from person to person.
Male ejaculatory fluid: this contains semen and prostatic fluid. It has a distinctive smell and is thicker in texture than the pre-cum.
Female arousal fluid: this is produced as a natural lubricant during sex. It is not the same as normal vaginal discharge. It has little or no odour, although that is determined by the state of the vagina.
Female ejaculatory fluid: like men, women also ejaculate through the urethra. It is a clear fluid that may also contain prostatic fluid. It can also be odourless depending on whatever has passed through the urethra before that time.
Rectal fluid: it is secreted by the mucus membranes of the rectum. It can give some lubrication during anal sex. It has a rather pungent smell.
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Menstrual blood: The menstrual blood is partly blood and partly tissue from inside the uterus. It passes out of the body through the vagina. Having penetrative and non-penetrative intercourse while menstruating is totally fine, as long as you’re comfortable and in the mood. For centuries, women have struggled with shame surrounding both their sensuality and menstruation. There is no biological reason to feel bad about either of these things together or separately. Period sex can be great if you’re open to it. One study even suggested that your comfort level with period sex could have major implications for your sex life overall.
Now that we have identified these fluids, here’s how to deal with them.
a. Use a condom: if you are not sure of what STIs your partner may have, or if it’s other fluids you are uncomfortable about, condoms are always a safe choice. They serve as barriers to keep the risk of fluid STIs to a minimum. This also applies to oral sex.
b. Because of the risk of introducing bacteria from the rectum to the vagina, it is always better to avoid moving from anal sex to other types of sex at the same time. If you must, use a separate condom for each act or save the anal sex for last.
c. There’s nothing wrong in getting dirty for some fun. You can always take a bath afterwards.
Above all, try not to get carried away in controlling what happens during sex sessions, know that there will sometimes be noises, gushes, smells and even blood. Always remember that all these are part of the real and raw human experience. Learning to accept this fact can help you to enjoy sex more fully.
Have a good one.
Nkechi Blessing bashes critics of ‘dildo’ souvenirs at mom’s remembrance
Actress Nkechi Blessing has hit back at critics who carpeted her for sharing ‘dildo’ as souvenirs during the remembrance service of her mother.
Many were outraged after the actress shared a video where she distributed ‘dildo’ to guests.
Over the weekend, the film star hosted prayer/party in remembrance of her mother, Gloria Obasi Sunday who died on September 22, 2021.
“My learned friend representing the EFCC will also agree with me that this court will either stay proceeding or strike out the charge.
Lawyer to Destra, Tochukwu Onwugbufor, who agreed with Osigwe, recalled that while determining the appeals by Metuh and Destra, the Court of Appeal voided the judgment of the Federal High Court that had convicted them and ordered a retrial.
Onwugbufor added that besides the prosecution, which appealed against that judgment at the Supreme Court, Metuh and Destra also appealed against the Appeal Court judgment.
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He said the main issue in the appeal by the EFCC was the contention that the Appeal Court did not determine the whole appeal.
Onwugbufor added: “Actually, what was determined at Appeal Court was the issue of bias. But the EFCC is asking that the Federal High Court judgment should either be reinstated or send back to Court of Appeal for retrial.
“My client is also asking the Supreme Court that the Appeal Court did not take into consideration that the whole trial was a nullity and should be dismissed in its entirety and discharge and acquit the defendants.”
Although Adeola prayed the court to adjourn indefinitely pending the out come of the appeals at the Supreme Court, Onwugbufor agreed with Osigwe that the court possesses the discretion to either strike out the charge or adjourn it indefinitely.
He however noted that even after the Supreme Court’s decision on the pending appeals, the case may no longer come back to the Federal High Court.
He added: “This is so because the matter can be heard at the Appeal Court and it will go back to Supreme Court for final decision.”
In a judgment on February 25, 2020, Justice Okon Abang of the Federal High Court, Abuja convicted Metuh and Destra on money laundering offences.
They were found guilty of laundering N400 million which they got from the Office of the National Security Adviser (ONSA) then headed by Sambo Dasuki in 2014, preparatory to the 2015 general elections.
They were also convicted In relation to a $2 million cash transaction executed without going through a financial institution in violation of money laundering law.
Metuh was jailed seven years, while Destra was wound up, a decision Metuh and his firm appealed at the Court of Appeal.
In a judgment on December 16, 2020 the Court of Appeal set aside the proceedings leading to the conviction and sentencing of Metuh and Destra and ordered a retrial, on the grounds that the trial judge exhibited bias against them.
Chichi, Phyna, six others for BBNaija 7 final after Groovy, Sheggz, Hermes eviction
- How fans voted out the three housemates
Eight housemates have made it to the final week of Season 7 of the Big Brother Naija reality TV show after three housemates were on Sunday night evicted from the House.
Groovy, Sheggz and Hermes were evicted in the Sunday eviction night show out of the six housemates that were earlier up for eviction.
The finalists are Chichi, Phyna, Daniella, Adekunle, Bella, Chizzy, Bryann and Rachael.
Head of House, Chichi, was last Monday shortly after her emergence as HoH, given the veto power of saving two fellow housemates while the rest would be up for eviction.
She picked Phyna and Daniella for the grand finale, and the remaining housemates, Hermes, Adekunle, Bella, Sheggz, Groovy, Chizzy and Bryann were up for eviction.
On Sunday, October 2, 2022, one of the housemates will go home with the coveted N100 million grand prize.
Out of the seven housemates, who have made it to the final of the show, only five are in contention for the N100m grand prize as two of them – Chizzy and Rachael – are fake housemates referred to as Riders in the show.
Show host, Ebuka Ob-Uchendu, also announced that by 9pm this Sunday night, voting for the finale would be open.
Below is how fans voted as obtained from NaijaCover:
Hermes – 15.83%
Groovy – 14.63%
Shegzz – 13.26%
“Polygamy is a life choice I can’t accept” – May Yul-Edochie
Polygamy is a valid life choice for individuals that she has chosen not to be part of, May, the estranged wife of popular actor, Yul Edochie has said.
The mother of four stated this in a viral Instagram post, months after she fell out with her husband for marrying a second wife.
May said polygamy does not align with her values and faith, and she, therefore, chose not to be a part of it.
“The ability to accept or tolerate challenges and problems in life is a virtue, and should not be misconstrued. There is no point making an already bad situation worse, hence the need to remain calm is crucial.
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“I understand that we all have our weaknesses and limitations as humans, and I personally believe everyone deserves an opportunity to make things right when they stray… Forgiveness is divine.
“Beyond all the unnecessary facades, Polygamy is a life choice and no one should be compelled to accept it. It is something I think all parties involved should embrace willingly, and it’s okay for anyone who chooses it. Some religions traditions allow polygamy and I have nothing against it.
“However, I am ABSOLUTELY certain that I will not be NUMBERED as a wife or be cajoled to accept a practice that does not align with my faith and family values,” she wrote on Thursday.
Recall that Yul sent tongues waging in April when it emerged that he had taken a second wife.
Announcing his second marriage to colleague, Judy Austin, the actor also disclosed the birth of their son.
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