Opinion
OPINION: Osinbajo and the heritage of failure (1), by Tunde Odesola
(Published in The PUNCH, on Monday, April 11, 2022)
HUSBAND. Father. Lawyer. Pastor. Professor. SAN. Politician and Vice President – the titles on the hoary head of Buroda Yęmi Osinbajo are heavy. May thou continue to mount up with wings like the Super Eagles.
The deer doesn’t complain, though the antlers on its head are forky and hulking; it carries them, all the same. Though Adépèlé suffers from hyperdontia, he doesn’t complain about his crowded teeth; he grinds food with them, all the same. And the cow – horns, hoofs and headaches – never complains, it moos and milks, all the same. Vice President Osinbajo is not complaining, for the Lord is good, all the time.
Nobody kills the dog for barking. No one kills the ram for butting. Let nobody attack Dolapo’s husband for standing with Jenera Muhammadu Buhari, though innocent blood spurts from bandits’ bullets, and kidnappers’ bank accounts bespeaks of APC incompetence. Let the dead bury their dead is the new song in town though 714 soldiers were killed in 18 months. Praise be the name of the lord because no amount of killings can stop the 2023 elections.
Warming up to continue the bleeding of the national treasury after a change of government in 2023, some APC members, e-rats and apologists are today saying, “Baba Fiyinfoluwa has no constitutional powers to effect any desired change now because he’s only an auxiliary. When he becomes President, he will clean the Augean stable.” Nigerians, please, don’t forget the words of Chief Zebrudaya Okoroigwe alias 4:30, who says in the New Masquerade sitcom, “Fa, fa, fa, F-O-U-L!”
Yes, the North-favouring 1999 Constitution gives all powers to the President, Jenera Buhari, but it proffers no cure for his intellectual impotence. Therefore, it’s proper for Buroda Yemi to want to stay back in Aso Rock for another eight years in order to break the yoke inflicted on Nigeria by Buhari for eight years. Never mind the fact that ègbón Yemi had spent eight years in Lagos as commissioner for justice and attorney general under his former godfather, the bullion van owner at Bourdillon, Asiwaju Bola Tinubu, when Jagaban’s word was law, and crumbs fell off his table. 8 + 8 + 8 = executive service to humanity. It’s not 24. Moreover, a thousand years is like a day in the sight of the lord. Today, Buhari is the ultimate, the law; the train will move when power swings tomorrow.
The grandson-in-law to Chief Obafemi Awolowo is a noble man. It’s not easy to put self forward in the service of an ungrateful nation. It’s not easy living with the endless deaths and destruction ravaging the country. It’s not easy to carry the burden of Nigeria on the head like a cow carries its horns while one’s children school in expensive universities in the UK snow. It’s not easy nodding gently to the ‘ao m’erin j’oba’ tune from the drums of sycophants, leading the elephant to the holey, leglesss throne. E no easy, but let somebody shout halleluyah!
The race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, sayeth the Lord God of Host. This is why buroda Leke is biding his time, and waiting upon the lord to lead the way to Aso Rock, the place of plenty and pleasure.
I was looking for an answer for those saying Baba Kanyisola is helpless in the face of Buhari’s ineptitude when I saw a page torn out from the Holy Book. I saw it on the floor in Abuja, trampled upon. Please, don’t ask me who tore it, you know who did. It’s the Mark 6:11 admonition of Jesus Christ, which says, “If anyone will not WELCOME you or LISTEN to you, shake the dust off your feet when you LEAVE that place, as a testimony against them.” So, Baba Damilola has a choice to resign, and keep his name and integrity unblemished, infers the Holy Bible.
In John 11:35, “Jesus wept!’ Even the sit-down comedienne of the clueless Jonathanian era, Patience Jonathan, wept! I can hear her voice, “Prinspal, na only you waka come?…Will you keep kwayet? Chai! Chai! Di blood you people are sharing, dia ris God o, dia ris God ooo, dia ris God ooooo! (weeps)” But Osinbajo shouldn’t shed crocodile tears, he’s the biblical serpent; very wise, he’s the biblical dove; very innocent. May the lord continue to bless thee, Mr VP.
I predict, in the 419 days remaining for President Muhammadu Buhari to vacate Aso Rock, and return to wherever he came from, Buroda Yemi will aspire to lead Nigeria, and continue the legacy of ruins Buhari and the All Progressives Congress have bequeathed to Nigeria.
Worried by the stupidity of planting corn, and expecting to reap yam, Paul, the greatest of the apostles, asks, “So, shall we then continue in sin that grace may abound?” Paul himself answers his poser, “God forbid.” I ask, shall Nigeria, in 2023, re-elect the same politicians who have been wrecking the country since 1999, and pray that grace may abound? God forbid!
Since 1999 till date, instead of pouring new wine in new wineskins, old wine has been recycled in old wineskins. Therefore, nothing has changed except serpents shedding their skins in continuous renewal to strike again and again.
I stand on the Rock of Ages, and urge the ignorant and the myopic bearers of falsehood seeing a new Nigeria in an Osinbajo presidency to turn their eye to the Book of Mark 2:21. It says, “No one sews a patch of unshrunk cloth on an old garment. Otherwise, the new piece will pull away from the old, making the tear worse.”
For dialectical purposes, let’s even assume Osinbajo is the saintliest of saints, I urge we consider the words of Prophet Amos, who asks in the Holy Bible, “Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?”
Since his shameful fall from power in 1993, disgraced evil genius, Ibrahim Babangida, still pulls political strings. The same goes for Delta ruthless robber, James Onanefe Ibori, and his Edo ex-counterpart, Lucky De Thief Igbinedion, who both remain factors in Niger Delta politics, despite being convicted for looting public treasury.
Where is thy common sense, ye compatriots! Can ye continuously vote for treasury looters who mortgage your future and the future of your unborn generations that grace may abound?
Now, if IBB, Ibori, Igbinedion etc still have hold on power till today, who says Osinbajo can break away from Pantami, the Boko Haram apologist, and owner of a laughable PhD, or do away with Malami, the worst Minister of Justice and Attorney General since creation, and other dyed-in-the-wool Buhari elements?
I have some questions for Pastor Yemi. And I want him to answer them with his church mind. What did you say to Buhari who approved a $1m donation to Afghanistan, a Taliban state that doesn’t respect democracy, women and human rights? Why was this donation, done through the Organisation of Islamic Cooperation, not made public? Is the $1m meant to support global terrorism being waged by Afghanistan? Why make such a senseless donation when Nigerian universities are shut due to lack of funding? Why donate money to Afghanistan, whose GDP is far higher than Nigeria’s? No bi juju bi dat?
I have more questions, Mr Man of God. How many similar donations have been made in the past to the OIC, which is the second-largest inter-governmental organisation after the United Nations? Does this donation not give teeth to the suspicion that the Buhari regime has an Islamisation agenda? Buroda Yemi de SAN, what business does Nigeria, a secular state, have being a member of OIC? If not for the public acknowledgment of the donation by the Secretary-General the OIC, Hissein Taha, Nigeria’s prodigal rulers wouldn’t have mentioned the donation to Nigerians.
* To be concluded
Email: [email protected]
Facebook: @tunde odesola
Twitter: @tunde_odesola
Opinion
Ademola Lookman showed Davido and Kemi Badenoch that wisdom is not by age – Omokri
Ademola Lookman showed Davido and Kemi Badenoch that wisdom is not by age – Omokri
Recently, the singer David Adeleke was given a global stage to do whatever he wanted and deliver any message.
Sadly, Mr. Adeleke used the opportunity to speak in an American accent. Not only that, he used that American accent to talk down on Nigeria and tell the world not to invest in Nigeria because, as he put it, Nigeria’s “economy is in shambles”.
Coincidentally, a month after his faux pas, Kemi Badenoch, probably inspired by Davido, used her British accent to talk down Nigeria, calling us “a very poor country” where the police rob citizens.
But the interesting thing about her own case is that the next day, the BBC featured a panel of Conservative Party big shots, and one of them, Albie Amankona, a party chieftain from Chiswick, who is also a celebrity broadcaster, said, and this is a direct quote:
“If you are a Brexiteer, and you are saying we need to be expanding our global trade beyond the European Union, we want to be looking at emerging markets for growth, don’t slag off one of the fastest growing economies in Africa.”
Is it not strange that it took the BBC and a British politician to promote Nigeria as one of the fastest-growing economies in Africa?
And just when we thought it was all bad news, God gave us a breath of fresh air in the youthful Ademola Lookman, who used the global podium granted to him by his winning the 2024 African Footballer of the Year award to promote and project Nigeria and the Lukumi Yoruba language to the world.
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Wisdom is not by age. If not, Ademola Lookman, who is just twenty-seven, will not have displayed greater wisdom than David Adeleke, who is thirty-two, and Kemi Badenoch, at forty-four.
Mr. Lookman proved that the age of Methuselah has nothing to do with the wisdom of Solomon.
And it is not as though other ethnicities with global icons do not also project Nigeria. They do.
Dr. Mrs. Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala spoke Igbo on the podium of the WTO in Geneva. In terms of prestige, she is FAR above Lookman.
My campaign is not for the Lukumi Yoruba alone. It is for all sub-Saharan Black Africans to learn to speak their language and not use ability to speak English or another colonial language as a measure of intelligence.
Besides Lukumi Yoruba and Hausa, every other Nigerian language, including Fulfulde, is gradually dying out.
General Buhari is half Fulani and half Kanuri. Yet, he cannot speak either Fuifulde or Kanuri. But he speaks Hausa and English.
Fact-check me: In 2012, UNESCO declared Igbo an endangered language.
However, the Lukumi Yoruba are to be commended for their affirmative actions to advance their language and culture.
Let me give you an example. All six Governors of the Southwest bear full Lukumi names: Jide Sanwa-Olu, Seyi Makinde, Dapo Abiodun, Ademola Adeleke, Abiodun Oyebanji, and Orighomisan Aiyedatiwa.
No other zone in Nigeria has all its governors bearing ethnic Nigerian names as first and second names. They either bear Arabic or European names as first names or even first and second names.
If we truly want to be the Giant of Africa, we must take affirmative steps to preserve our language and culture so we can have children like Ademola Lookman.
Teach your language to your children before you teach them English. They will learn English at school. Being multilingual is scientifically proven to boost intelligence.
Fact-check me: In the U.S., Latino kids do not speak English until they start school. They learn Spanish as a first language.
Even if you relocate to the UK, the best you can be is British. You can never be English. And if your choice of Japa is the U.S., the highest you can be is an American citizen. You will never become a White Anglo-Saxon Protestant WASP.
Your power lies in balancing ancient and modern, Western and African, English (or other colonial languages) and your native tongue.
That is the way to reverse language erosion, like the Lukumi Yoruba.
Ademola Lookman showed Davido and Kemi Badenoch that wisdom is not by age – Omokri
Opinion
Kemi Badenoch’s Hate for Nigeria – Femi Fani-Kayode
Kemi Badenoch’s Hate for Nigeria – Femi Fani-Kayode
“I find it interesting that everyone defines me as a Nigerian. I identify less with the country than with my specific ethnic group. I have nothing in common with the people from the north of the country, the Boko Haram, where Islamism is. Being Yoruba is my true identity and I refuse to be lumped with the northern people of Nigeria who were our ethnic enemies, all in the name of being called a Nigerian”- @KemiBadenoch.
Dangerous rhetoric
Kemi Badenoch, MP, the leader of the British Conservative Party and Opposition in the @UKParliament, has refused to stop at just denigrating our country but has gone a step further by seeking to divide us on ethnic lines.
She claims that she never regarded herself as being a Nigerian but rather a Yoruba and that she never identified with the people from the Northern part of our country who she collectively describes as being “Boko Haram Islamists” and “terrorists”.
This is dangerous rhetoric coming from an impudent and ignorant foreign leader who knows nothing about our country, who does not know her place and who insists on stirring up a storm that she cannot contain and that may eventually consume her.
It is rather like saying that she identifies more with the English than she does with the Scots and the Welsh whom she regards as nothing more than homicidal and murderous barbarians that once waged war against her ethnic English compatriots!
All this coming from a young lady of colour that is a political leader in a multi-ethnic, multi-religious and multi-cultural country that lays claim to being the epitome of decency and civilisation! What a strange and inexplicable contradiction this is.
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Her intentions are malevolent and insidious and her objective, outside of ridiculing and mocking us, is to divide us and bring us to our knees.
I am constrained to ask, what on earth happened to this creature in her youth and why does she hate Nigeria with such passion?
Did something happen to her when she lived here which she has kept secret?
Kemi Badenoch’s Hate for Nigeria – Femi Fani-Kayode
Opinion
The cockroach called Dele Farotimi (1)
The cockroach called Dele Farotimi (1)
Tunde Odesola
(Published in The PUNCH, on Friday, December 13, 2024)
The official name for cage fight is Mixed Martial Arts. Street fight, known as ‘ìjà ìgboro’ in Yoruba, is the bane of Ibadan people, says the panegyric of Oluyole, the city of brown roofs scattered among seven hills. MMA, I think, is organised street fighting.
But, long before MMA became a global combat sport in 2000, little devils of St Paul Anglican (Primary) School, Idi-Oro, Lagos, and Archbishop Aggey Memorial Secondary School, Mushin, Lagos, engaged in ‘ìjà ìgboro’, the progenitor of Mixed Martial Arts. Retrospectively, I’m guilty of being part of the little devils of both schools.
Because, instead of heeding the ‘blessed are the peacemakers’ injunction in the Holy Scriptures, to ‘inherit the kingdom of God’, what we did as little demons that we were was to add fuel to the embers of hostility smouldering among fellow students.
As soon as you noticed two students in a heated argument, instead of you to sue for peace, the naughty reaction was for you to grab some soil in clenched fists and spread your fists towards the two disputants, daring both pupils to slap one of the outstretched fists: ‘Ení bá lè jà, kó gbon!’
‘Ení bá lè jà, kó gbon!’ was a call to arms. To prove you’re a lionheart ready to fight, you slap the clenched fist open and watch its content pour out to the ground.
So, in a jiffy, you would see friends who were laughing a while ago, engage in a free-for-all instanter. Regrettably, I initiated some of such fights and participated in not a few. You probably can’t grow up in Mushin and be fainthearted.
Taliatu Mudashiru was my friend and classmate in Forms 1 and 2. Occasionally, when I didn’t get dropped off at school by my father, and I had to make it to school on my own, I first trek from our Awoyokun Street residence to Taliatu’s house on Adegboyega Street before both of us would head up to Akinade Ayodeji’s house two blocks away en route to school.
I thought I was stronger than Tali, as we fondly called him, or Pali Tutu (Wet Cardboard) – if the caller was a mischievous classmate – until one day when we disagreed during a break-time chatter involving other classmates.
A peacemaker stepped forward with clenched fists, chanting, ‘K’éyin lè jà, k’émi lé wò’ran, Èsù ta’po si,’ evoking Baba Devil himself. I slapped one of the fists; Tali slapped the other! ‘Ha, Tali ke? I go kill sombodi!’
Toe-to-toe, Tunde rained blows. Tit-for-tat, Tali responded. We upturned desks and seats as the brawl spiralled to the delight of cheering classmates. But it was short-lived as the break-time bell saved the day. We swore at each other but classmates begged us, like peacemakers, to save our punches and wait till after-school hours to throw them.
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After school, excited classmates such as Taliatu Olokodana, Akinade Ayodeji alias Kuruki, Hakeem Adigun alias Slate, Jide Oladimeji alias Agama; Kunle Adeyoju alias Iron Bender, Sunday Pedro Oshokai, Sanmi Okuwobi, Sule Mustapha alias Maito; Olalekan Egungbohun, Kazeem Osuolale alias Oju etc led Tali and me to ‘Ojú Olómo ò to’, an arena so named because no parent or guardian’s eyes ever got to see what happened there.
Only Lukmon Yusuff aka OC, Jide Ajose and Segun Majekodunmi would have separated us if they were around. For his good-naturedness, Jide got the nickname Unreasonable while Segun was called Brother because he belonged to the Deeper Life Church and Yusuff got nicknamed O.C. because of his effectiveness as a football defender.
The ‘Ojú Olómo ò to’ was the playground of a primary school that had closed for the day. Impish classmates sat around the edge of the big field, leaving Tali and I at the centre to unleash the devilry in us.
Tali, bigger and an inch taller, was hoping to use his weight to an advantage, grabbing at me but I knew if he slammed me he would feed me with sand, so I used my fists to keep him off.
We wrestled and boxed and kicked and clawed for God knows how long. There was no referee. There was no timeout. There were only ringside viewers who laughed and cheered every kick and blow and the sight of blood. Tali and I bled all over, spent and gasped for breath.
Then I threw a punch, it caught Tali right in the face, and he first went down in a squat, before flattening out on his back. I should have jumped on him and finished him off, but I was barely breathing. I just left him and I turned away to look for my bag and shoes.
The following day, Tali was looking for me on the assembly ground. He appeared proud of us. He shook hands with me vigorously and we hugged for a long period – like warriors after a pyrrhic victory. He earned my respect, I earned his. Tali probably thought I was a sportsman for not finishing him off when he blanked out, but little did he know that all that was on my mind when he fell was me getting home. I probably would’ve fallen too if the fight had lasted longer.
There are similarities between my fight with Tali and the ongoing fight between one of Nigeria’s heavyweight lawyers, Aare Afe Babalola and human rights activist and lawyer, Mr Dele Farotimi.
I know Nigeria is broken and needs fixing urgently. I know that to fix it, something has to give. I know Nigeria’s coconuts of corruption must be cracked on skulls and the water thereof used as atonement for the nation’s corruption.
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I see many coconuts. I also see the head of Babalola and that of Farotimi. I see other heads, too. But whose skull(s) would crack open the coconuts?
I see a poisonous cockroach encircled by a brood of chickens. Among the chickens is the breed called Supreme. There’s also a breed called Appeal and another breed called High. There’s yet another breed called SANyeri, a name symbolising the breed’s big gowns. The chickens thrust their heads forward, sharply looking right and left, watching intently, communicating in esoteric language. What shall we do to this irritant?
Yet, the cockroach is adamant in the valley of jeopardy, six legs gangling, two antennas roving; person wey wan don die jam person wey wan kill am.
Tali Vs. Tunde. Today, I can’t even remember what caused the disagreement that snowballed into our fight, but I can never forget the pain of the fight. I had thought I would make light work of Tali but I didn’t see his gallantry coming.
Although I’ve never met Baba Babalola, he comes across as a man of commendable philanthropy and frankness. It’s only frankness that could make him stand by the Labour Party and its presidential candidate, Mr Peter Obi, in the 2023 presidential election when the elite of his tribe was queuing behind Asiwaju Bola Tinubu as ‘Shon of the Shoil’.
In the 2023 presidential election, I was neither BATified nor Atikulated just as I wasn’t Obidient. In some articles during the countdown to the election, I called for an overhaul of the 1999 Constitution before the conduct of the general elections, saying none of the presidential candidates would succeed as president if the Constitution wasn’t amended.
I also said there was no ideological difference among the All Progressives Congress, Peoples Democratic Party and Labour Party. If they were different, Nigeria wouldn’t witness six House of Representatives members of the Labour Party defecting to the APC recently, despite LP’s promise of a new Nigeria. While I predict more defections in the coming days, those already defected include Tochukwu Okere (Imo), Daulyop Fom (Plateau), Donatus Matthew (Kaduna), Bassey Akiba (Cross River), Iyawe Esosa (Edo) and Fom Daniel Chollon (Plateau).
In my recommendations, I called for devolution of powers to the states, resource control, independent candidacy and patriotism by the generality of Nigerians for a new order.
And I’ve not repented from my belief that elected Nigerian politicians loot the treasury according to the amount of money available in it, not because one was more decent than the other or one party was better than the other.
This is why I find the anti-corruption campaign of 56-year-old lawyer and human rights activist, Dele Farotimi, assuring though I’m not going to touch the libel stuff just yet.
Although Farotimi is an LP member, his rhetoric resonates with equity, fairness and justice – cornerstones of democracy.
However, there are concave and convex perspectives on the Babalola-Farotimi issue. In secondary school, Physics was intriguing to me, though I found its abstraction intimidating and perplexing. It was in Physics that I learnt about convex and concave lenses. I was taught in secondary school that both lenses are used for correcting short-sightedness and long-sightedness.
Tali died a long time ago. May his soul rest in peace. Baba Afe Babalola is 11 years older than my father who died last March at 84. May the Lord grant Baba Babalola more years in good health, and may he see the end of this war.
To be continued.
Email: [email protected]
Facebook: @Tunde Odesola
X: @Tunde_Odesola
LinkedIn: @Tunde Odesola
The cockroach called Dele Farotimi (1)
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