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Men beware – Lack of sex can make your wife miserable, angry

Published

2 months ago

September 15, 2024

Men beware – Lack of sex can make your wife miserable, angry

IT is a well-known fact that sex has come to be an accepted stress reliever. Some mornings, Felicia confesses she feels so lethargic she has to force herself out of bed. At work, the lethargy turns to irritability and she finds herself snapping at colleagues for no reason before returning home and picking silly arguments with Dan, her husband about dirty dishes and not helping enough with the children. Sound familiar?

While Felicia’s mood swings may bear some resemblance to the symptoms of pre-menstrual tension or mild anxiety. They are completely unrelated to her hormones or mental state. Her crushingly low spirits are caused by something else altogether – when she last made love. Too long without sex, and she becomes miserable and fractions. “I feel so low, it’s like I’m almost depressed,” confesses Felicia, 33, an executive assistant. “On the weekend, I can’t be bothered to look after the house or do any house work and I’m so short-tempered and feel angry at Dan for everything.

“At work too, my colleagues detect my change in mood and ask if I’m Ok, and I’ll then say I’m feeling a bit low so they won’t take it personally.” Felicia, a mother of two children aged five and 16 months, said she made the connection between her mood swings and the state of her love life after her children were born. “Before we had children, we’d have sex whenever we wanted and would hardly go a day or two without,” she recalls. “But parenthood drained our energy and we’d often be too exhausted.

As the gaps between our lovemaking become wider, I noticed the difference in my attitude to Dan. Even when we hadn’t had sex for just a week, I’d start to feel like we were drifting apart and it made me frustrated and angry. I worried about everything and whether our relationship was in trouble. It was very frightening. I can see how couples could break up in these circumstances. A ‘sex famine’ as it’s now popularly referred to, is something many exhausted parents can identify with, not to mention couples who’ve lapsed into a lazy over-familiarity in long relationships.”

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The truth is we’re simply not making love as often as we need to. And what’s now becoming apparent are the serious repercussions. As well as impacting on our mood and mental health, experts now believe a lack of sex is particularly responsible for the break-up of some marriages. Early last year, scientists from Florida State University confirmed the importance of sex in making women happy, revealing it triggers an ‘afterglow’ that lingers for 48 hours and which helps couples to bond. Without it, they become miserable and distant.

“And the statistics back this up – according to a recent global survey of 26,000 people aged 16 and older across 26 countries, only 44 per cent of people are fully satisfied with their sex lives. A report by the Kinsey Sex Institute noted that a woman who had sex nine times in a month was 1.24 times as likely to be happy as a woman who had sex four times in a month.

Scientists blame lack of sex activity in the bedroom on the stresses of modern living. The researchers say this decrease in the amount of sex we have could be due to the increased connectivity of modern life, with screens and distractions which don’t go off at 11pm as the old and few TV CHANNELS USED TO. You can see why people would have more time for sex. What else was there to do on a rainy evening in the pre-Net-fix and wi-fi days than slip under the covers with a willing partner?

“Modern women are working harder too. Add this to the fact that most of us are available online 24/7 and juggling demanding jobs with just as demanding children, and sleep is what most of us lust after in bed,. Dr. Geoff Hackeff, a leading expert in sexual medicine believes if we carry on like this, sex is in danger of being a lost art. “The domestic set-up in the Fifties, for example, seemed to positively encourage sex,” he says. “But nowadays, there’s not enough focus on it. Women are tired; they’re working or focusing on screaming children. Some are even exhausting themselves at the gym – which, done to excess, can affect your hormones and destroy your desire. An active sex life keeps couples together and makes people live longer.”

For Dan, Felicia’s husband, the Jekyll and Hyde changes in his wife’s personality when they don’t have time for physical intimacy have been hard to bear. “It was awful,” he says. “She’d shout at me for little things I had or hadn’t done, and because we both work full-time, it made everything so much harder. Before we had kids, we’d have a lot of sex, but now we’re tired and it’s more difficult. I do miss sex too, but I don’t suffer without it as much as Felicia does. And the only thing that could end the strained atmosphere is to get intimate. As soon as we have sex, her bad mood lifts and I have my loving, kind wife back. It’s as if a switch had been flicked.”

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Felicia agrees. “It’s like we’ve entered the honeymoon period and for the next few days, I’ll feel all happy and normal again. But this only lasts for a week or ten days, so we make a conscious effort to have sex regularly, even if we don’t feel like it.” For year, studies have lauded the physical and psychological benefits of sex. Behaviour linking regular sexual activity to emotional well-being, found that younger women felt more depressed the longer they hadn’t had sex. This is because, like any exercise that raises your heart rate, sex causes your brain to release feel – good chemicals that boost your levels of serotonin – the happy hormone – to lift your mood. Serotonin is the body’s key anti-depressant chemical and one of the major reasons people feel happy and relaxed after sex.

According to David Weeks, former head of old age psychology and clinical neuropsychologist at the Royal Edinburgh Hospital, people need to be more aware of the importance of a healthy sex life, particularly in their early years. “Sex has a number of health benefit, which can make men and women look five to seven years younger,” he says. “It causes the release of endorphins, the ‘feel good’ chemical which acts as a natural pain-killer and reduces anxiety, aiding sleep. The exercise itself boost circulation which is good for the heart and it also causes the human growth hormone to be released which produces more lean “muscles and less fat and makes the skin look more elastic and attractive.”

But it’s not just physiological benefits that count. Dr. Weeks claims sexual satisfaction is a major contributor to quality of life and the psychological impact cannot be understated. “If there’s an absence of pleasure, there is an absence of connectedness between two people, and people may start to have doubts about their relationships,” he says. “Sex sustains intimacy and there are some people who crave that need for sociability and sex more than others.”

Who Needs Light In The Dark? (Humour)

A guy on a date parks his car and gets his girlfriend in the back seat. They make love, and the girl wants to do it again almost instantly.

They end up doing it a second, a third and a fourth time, until the bloke needs a rest and ask his girlfriend to excuse him as he needs to take a leak. While out of the car, he notices a man a few yards away changing a flat tyre. He walks over and says, “Listen, my girlfriend’s over there in my car and I’ve already given it to her four times and she still wants more. If you give her one for me, I’ll change your tyre.”

The lucky motorist readily agrees, climbs into the vehicle and begins shagging the insatiable girl. While he is at it doggy styles, a police man shines a torch through the window. “What do you think you’re doing there?” he asks the man, who replies, “I’m making love to my wife.”

The police man looks bemused and says, “Why don’t you do it at home?”

The man answers, “Well, I didn’t know it was my wife until you shone the torch on her.”

Men beware – Lack of sex can make your wife miserable, angry

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$6bn fraud: Judge scolds Agunloye’s counsel over delay tactics

Published

20 hours ago

November 15, 2024

Trends Admin

Former Power and Steel Minister Olu Agunloye

$6bn fraud: Judge scolds Agunloye’s counsel over delay tactics

Justice Jude Onwuegbuzie of the Federal High Court, Apo, Abuja On Thursday, chastised Adeola Adedipe, SAN, counsel to former Minister of Power, Olu Agunloye, for using delay tactics to slow the pace of the former minister’s prosecution.

Agunloye is being prosecuted by the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission, EFCC, on seven counts of official corruption and fraudulent award of the Mambilla Power Project contract worth $6 billion.

During Thursday’s hearings, the court observed that the defence counsel has been in the habit of making excuses based on Agunloye’s health and age, as well as filing various motions, ensuring that little progress has been achieved in the trial.

Addressing the defence counsel, Justice Onwuegbuzie stated that “My principle of justice is that of no delay. The other time you brought the issue of amicus curiae and wasted the time of the court. You should also know that in my court I don’t read processes.

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“If you need time to serve processes, it must reach me on time, and your colleague must also be duly aware in time. There must be mutual respect. Do not come and serve processes in court; I don’t take that in my court,” he said.

Prosecuting Counsel Abba Mohammed, SAN, informed the court at the start of proceedings that the business of the day was the adoption of the prosecution’s application for the amendment of the charge, which was filed on October 30, 2024, to which the defence responded with a counter-affidavit and a request for an adjournment to allow the prosecution to study the affidavit.

Justice Onwuegbuzie adjourned the case until November 28, 2024, to rule on the adoption of the application.

$6bn fraud: Judge scolds Agunloye’s counsel over delay tactics

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Emefiele printed new naira notes different from what Buhari approved – Ex-CBN official

Published

20 hours ago

November 15, 2024

Trends Admin

Former Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) Governor, Godwin Emefiele

Emefiele printed new naira notes different from what Buhari approved – Ex-CBN official

The trial of former Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) Governor, Godwin Emefiele, continued at the Federal Capital Territory (FCT) High Court in Maitama on Thursday, November 14, 2024.

A former CBN Deputy Governor, Kingsley Obiora, who served in the policy department, testified that the newly printed naira notes issued during Emefiele’s tenure deviated from the approval granted by then-President Muhammadu Buhari.

In his testimony before Justice Maryann Anenih via Zoom, Obiora disclosed, “the approval by then President Muhammadu Buhari was different from what was eventually produced,” according to a statement from the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC).

Obiora, responding to evidence presented by prosecution counsel Rotimi Oyedepo SAN, explained that he noticed discrepancies when comparing the naira notes in circulation with the President’s original directive.

During his seven-year tenure at the CBN, Obiora served on the Committee of Governors (COG), which he described as a body comprising “the governor, four deputy governors, and the director of corporate services.” He clarified, “The governor is the Chairman of the Committee, and during my tenure as Deputy Governor, Emefiele was our Chairman.” Obiora said the Committee met every Wednesday to address significant policy matters.

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Obiora recalled the initial introduction of the redesign plan during an event marking the one-year anniversary of the e-naira in Lagos on October 25, 2022. “The governor called all four deputy governors into a huddle and informed us of the plan to redesign the currency,” he said, expressing immediate concerns, as he felt “the event itself may not be the appropriate place to announce such a major policy.” He advised that the policy undergo further scrutiny before any public announcement.

Despite his reservations, Obiora noted that Emefiele proceeded with the plan, formally presenting it to the COG on October 26, 2022. “The governor mentioned that we had already had the president’s approval for the policy,” he stated, adding, “The deputy governor in charge of currency operations presented a memo, and it was discussed, deliberated upon.” Following this, a press conference was held to announce the redesign.

Obiora explained that the CBN Board was formally briefed on the naira redesign months later, in mid-December 2022. He said, “The policy was discussed at the board level mid-December. The board did not sit as day-to-day management but instead gave policy directions.” Obiora clarified that “the board’s involvement in the policy was limited to endorsing the COG’s prior decision, not initiating it.”

During cross-examination, defense counsel Olalekan Ojo, SAN, questioned Obiora about the timing of the board’s formal involvement. Ojo suggested that the December meeting “conforms with the naira notes currently in circulation,” to which Obiora responded, “Yes, sir.” He noted there had been no indication or directive from former President Buhari challenging the redesign.

Reflecting on past experiences with currency design, Obiora mentioned that while he was with the bank during the introduction of a redesigned N100 note in 2014, he was not directly involved in its development.

After delivering his testimony, Justice Anenih discharged Obiora and adjourned the case to December 4, 2024, and January 21, 2025, for further proceedings.

Emefiele printed new naira notes different from what Buhari approved – Ex-CBN official

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Train attack: ECOWAS court dismisses SERAP suit against FG

Published

20 hours ago

November 15, 2024

Trends Admin

Train attack: ECOWAS court dismisses SERAP suit against FG

The Community Court of the Economic Community of West African States (ECOWAS Court) has rejected a suit filed by a group of Nigerian activists, the Socio-Economic Rights and Accountability Project (SERAP) over an attack by bandits on an Abuja-Kaduna train on March 28, 2022.

The court held that it lacks jurisdiction over the case because relevant ingredients that could qualify it to be entertained as a public interest litigation were missing.

SERAP filed the case after bandits attacked the Abuja-Kaduna passenger train in 2022.

In the attack, armed assailants bombed the train carrying over 970 passengers on the Abuja-Kaduna rail line near Rigasa in Kaduna.

The attack led to numerous fatalities, injuries, and abductions.

SERAP, by its case, sought to hold the government of Nigeria accountable for alleged human rights violations in relation to the terrorist attack.

The organisation claimed, among others, that the attack was the result of the state’s inability to provide tight security for the passengers.

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SERAP argued that Nigeria’s alleged lack of measures to avert the attack violated the rights of passengers to life, security, and dignity.

It prayed for a N50 million compensation for each of the passengers and their families.

In a judgment delivered on Wednesday, the regional court declared the suit inadmissible due to lack of victim status required for public interest litigation.

A statement by the court said the judgment was delivered by Justice Dupe Atoki.

It added: “The court recognised its jurisdiction to hear the case as it involved potential human rights violations within a member-state, in accordance with Article 9(4) of the ECOWAS Supplementary Protocol.

“However, the court found the claim inadmissible on grounds that it failed to meet the victim status requirement essential for litigation under Article 10(d) of the same Protocol.

“In its findings, the court said that SERAP claimed to be acting in public interest, citing previous incidents of terrorism in the region, including attacks on educational institutions and transportation services.

“However, the court determined that the case did not meet the criteria for a public interest action, or actio popularis, which requires that the alleged violations affect a large, indeterminate segment of the public or the general public itself.

“The Court highlighted that: The victims of the March 28 attack were identifiable individuals rather than an indeterminate public group, making the claim unsuitable as a public interest litigation.

“The reliefs sought, including specific monetary compensation, were directed at the identifiable victims of the attack rather than the public at large.

“Members of the three-member panel of the court were Honourable Justice Ricardo Cláudio Monteiro Gonçalves(presiding judge), Honorable Justice Sengu Mohamed Koroma (panel member), and Honorable Justice Dupe Atoki (judge rapporteur).”