Old age comes with aggression: Be patient with your parents (an appraisal of Qur'an17 : 23-24) - Newstrends
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Old age comes with aggression: Be patient with your parents (an appraisal of Qur’an17 : 23-24)

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Bismillaahir-rahmaanir-raheem (In the name of Allāh, Most Gracious, Most Merciful) 
Indeed, longevity of life is one of the greatest favours of Allāh that He bestows upon whomsoever He wills from amongst His servants. In Allah’s hands lies the power to create life and to take life; He rations it as He deems fit. Sometimes, He takes the life of the infant and the youthful, and grants respite to the aged and weak. Who dare questions His actions?  (لا يسأل عما يفعل وهم يسئلون)
Old age is a blessing and a curse. A popular adage in my mother tongue goes thus: “Rayi kpalo e wo gbata takechi”; meaning: (Long life heals all wounds). That’s the blessing part. Conversely, in Yoruba, the adage is, “o’ fe pe l’aye, o si fe k’oju re oribi, o f’owo mu kan ni” (You desire a long life, but hate to face travails; you would have to chose either of the two). That’s the curse. What will make us understand this theory better are the following verses:
a.
 وَمِنْكُمْ مَنْ يُتَوَفَّى وَمِنْكُمْ مَنْ يُرَدُّ إِلَى أَرْذَلِ الْعُمُرِ لِكَيْلَا يَعْلَمَ مِنْ بَعْدِ عِلْمٍ شَيْئًا
“And of you is he who is caused to die; and of you is he who is brought back to the worst part of life, so that after having knowledge he does not know anything… ” Q. 22:5
b.
 اللَّهُ الَّذِي خَلَقَكُمْ مِنْ ضَعْفٍ ثُمَّ جَعَلَ مِنْ بَعْدِ ضَعْفٍ قُوَّةً ثُمَّ جَعَلَ مِنْ بَعْدِ قُوَّةٍ ضَعْفًا وَشَيْبَةً يَخْلُقُ مَا يَشَاءُ وَهُوَ الْعَلِيمُ الْقَدِيرُ
” Allah He is who created you from a state of weakness, the  He gave (you) strength after weakness, then He ordained weakness a d hoary hair after strength; He creates what He pleases, and He is the Knowing, the Powerful.”  Q. 30:54
c.
وَمَنْ نُعَمِّرْهُ نُنَكِّسْهُ فِي الْخَلْقِ أَفَلا يَعْقِلُون
“And  he to whom We grant long life We reverse in creation (physical and mental capacity); so will they not understand?” Q. 36:66
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It is natural, therefore, that at times, or most times, old people reason and behave like toddlers; the more they get old, the worse they become. Some old people now wear pampers like infants; Some are fed like babies; Some defecate and urinate in their clothes; and almost all lose their memory of things that they hitherto knew. However, the worst form disposition that comes with old age is anger, harshness, and aggression. More than 2/3 of old people get aggressive at the slightest provocation and, sometimes, even without provocation. Like babies, old people feel vulnerable and unsafe due to their physical weakness. Most times, they feel lonely and abandoned; which is why they often turn talkative when they finally get someone to talk to.
Just before you feel bored by their oft-repeated, boring, meaningless, unnecessary and never-ending discussions; just before you start feeling like to throw up from the odoriferous smell oozing from the excreta of your mother in the potty; just before you get tired of bathing her all the time; remember how she endured all of these for you for several years.
[20/01, 06:51] Abdulfatai A. Ibrahim: It is based on the physical and mental weaknesses that characterized old age that Islam commands us to be gentle, decorous and compassionate while dealing with our parents. These injunctions, as we shall later explain apply to all manners of parents: non-Muslims, deadbeats, addicts, insane, nominal but non-practising Muslims, etc. No matter how lazy or lackadaisical or insensitive one’s parents are to one’s needs; even if they (both or one of them) abandoned one to struggle for survival, one MUST observe the provisions of these injunctions with them. Allah says:
وَقَضَى رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعْبُدُوا إِلَّا إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَاناً إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِنْدَكَ الْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَا أَوْ كِلَاهُمَا فَلَا تَقُلْ لَهُمَا أُفٍّ وَلَا تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُلْ لَهُمَا قَوْلاً كَرِيماً * وَاخْفِضْ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ الذُّلِّ مِنَ الرَّحْمَةِ وَقُلْ رَبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِي صَغِيراً
“And your Lord has decreed that you worship not except Him, and give your parents good treatment. Whether one or both of them attain old age (while) with you (while you’re alive), say not to them uff (an expression of disapproval or irritation), and do not repel (shout at them) but speak to them a noble word. And lower to them the wing of humility out of compassion and say, “My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up (when I was) small.” (Q. 17:23)
To underscore the significance of treating one’s parents with utmost respect, the Prophet (pbuh) mentioned disobedience to one’s parents as part of the most heinous crimes in Islam.
و عن عَبْدِ الرَّحْمَنِ بْنِ أَبِي بَكْرَةَ عَنْ أَبِيهِ رَضِي اللَّهُ عَنه قَالَ قَالَ النَّبِيُّ صَلَّى اللَّه عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: أَلَا أُنَبِّئُكُمْ بِأَكْبَرِ الْكَبَائِرِ ثَلَاثًا؟ قَالُوا: بَلَى يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ، قَالَ: الْإِشْرَاكُ بِاللَّهِ وَعُقُوقُ الْوَالِدَيْنِ وَجَلَسَ وَكَانَ مُتَّكِئًا فَقَالَ: أَلَا وَقَوْلُ الزُّورِ قَالَ فَمَا زَالَ يُكَرِّرُهَا حَتَّى قُلْنَا لَيْتَهُ سَكَتَ
“The Prophet (pbuh) said: Should I inform you about the most heinous crimes (he said it thrice)? We said, yes, please. He said, “ascribing partners to Allah, disobedience to one’s parents (and he was reclining, so he sat up and continued) and making false statements. He said it so repeatedly that we wished he had kept quiet.”
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The verse quoted above has the following injunctions:
i. It is forbidden to say #uff to one’s old parents: According to Qur’ānic exegetes, uff means showing irritation at their excesses; such as  urination, excretion or the likes. Tabari wrote:
 قال: ثنا سفيان، عن ليث، عن مجاهد، في قوله) فَلا تَقُلْ لَهُمَا أُفٍّ وَلا تَنْهَرْهُمَا (قال: إن بلغا عندك من الكبر ما يبولان ويخرآن، فلا تقل لهما أف تقذّرهما.حدثنا القاسم، قال: ثنا الحسين ، قال: ثني حجاج،عن ابن جريج، عن مجاهد إما يَبْلُغانَّ عِندك الكبر فلا تَقُل لهما أف حين ترى الأذى، وتميط عنهما الخلاءوالبول ، كما كانا يميطانه عنك صغيرا، ولا تؤذهما.
(Summary) “When your parents have attained old age, do not show any sign of displeasure, discomfort or irritation at their excesses; even when they defecate or urinate on their body. You should gladly wash them with gentleness and tenderness like they washed you at your tender age.”
ii. It is forbidden to shout at them: According to the Mufassiruun, shouting at one’s parents include: raising one’s voice at them, interrupting them while they are talking, talking before them without the permission to do so, walking out on them when they are talking to one, showing displeasure at the way they address one harshly or shabbily, not paying attention to their discussion (such as receiving calls, pinging, or turning your back at them), etc. All of these are Haram.
iii. It is compulsory to address them in the most honourable way: Imagine what some of us would have done to our fathers if we were in Prophet Ibraheem’s shoes. In spite of the fact that his father was a Mushrik, Ibraheem was never harsh to him in his speech. In fact, he didn’t address him as يا أبي: my father; rather he said, يا أبت: my dear father! لا حول ولا قوة إلا بالله العلي العظيم! What a role model he is for us all!
Our parents are more honourable than any other being on earth. Yet, when we address them, we do so crudely in a manner that we can never address our teachers or even political godfathers. In fact, some people respect their friends more than they respect their parents! أعوذ بالله من الشيطان الرجيم!
iv. We must humble ourselves before our parents: No matter how rich, famous, knowledgeable, or highly-placed we are in the scheme of life, we must suspend all of those shenanigans while treating our parents. Our wealth must be put at their disposal anytime, any day. One day, a young man came to report his father to the Prophet (pbuh) saying:
عن جابر رضي الله عنه أن رجلاً قال: يا رسول الله إن لي مالاً وولداً ، وإن أبي يريد أن يجتاح مالي، فقال: “أنت ومالك لأبيك”.
“O Messenger of Allāh! I have wealth and children, and my father wants to take (from) my wealth. The Prophet replied him saying, “YOU, & YOUR WEALTH BELONG TO YOUR FATHER.”

Dr. Sanusi Lafiagi is a lecturer in Department of Islamic Studies, Al-Hikmah University Ilorin

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Opinion

2027: Competence, Not Zoning, Should Decide Nigeria’s Next President — Imasuagbon

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Nigerians should look beyond ethnicity, region and the longstanding debate over rotational presidency when choosing the country’s next leader, according to a chieftain of the African Democratic Congress (ADC), Kenneth Imasuagbon.

The former Edo State governorship aspirant said the priority ahead of the 2027 election should be finding a president with the ability to confront Nigeria’s economic, security and infrastructure challenges.

Speaking to journalists in Benin, Imasuagbon argued that presidential rotation is not a requirement of the Nigerian Constitution and should therefore not outweigh the question of competence.

He said voters should be more concerned about replacing poor schools with better ones, improving healthcare and addressing hardship than debating where the next president comes from.

Imasuagbon specifically appealed to voters in the South to support former Vice President Atiku Abubakar, who is contesting the 2027 presidency on the ADC platform.

According to him, Atiku has demonstrated the experience and determination needed to improve the country, describing the former vice president as someone capable of promoting national unity and fairness.

He also accused the Bola Tinubu administration of worsening economic pressure through policies including the removal of fuel subsidy, while expressing concern about the condition of roads, electricity and other infrastructure.

Imasuagbon argued that the next administration must focus on practical improvements in areas such as power, transportation, employment, security and public services.

The ADC chieftain also dismissed the idea that the ruling All Progressives Congress (APC) would automatically benefit from its incumbency advantage in 2027.

He maintained that the electorate ultimately determines the outcome of an election, arguing that voters could change the political direction of the country if they were determined to do so.

Imasuagbon further criticised what he described as regional and ethnic considerations in the distribution of political appointments and opportunities, insisting that the next president should give Nigerians across different parts of the country a sense of belonging.

His comments come as political parties and their candidates intensify preparations for the 2027 presidential election.

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Lesson from Dotun Oladipo’s Brave Daughters, by Bamidele Johnson

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Lesson from Dotun Oladipo’s Brave Daughters, by Bamidele Johnson

 

I hope to grow old. I want to see my kids become real adults, find their own feet, make mistakes, recover from them, and perhaps one day complain that their own children are giving them grey hairs. I want that plainly stated before anything else, as everything that follows might read as a man agreeing to an early exit rather than a man simply being honest about the odds.

I want the decades. I want to become the grandfather who repeats the same stories until nobody bothers correcting him anymore. But wanting a thing and being granted are different things. The last year has made that difference harder to ignore than I would like. I have lost many friends recently to keep thinking that optimism is my natural resting state. Some of these men had better blood pressure than mine, better habits, better everything that is supposed to count. It did not save them.

There is no formula I know that reliably separates the men who make it to 70 from those who do not. Anyone who says he knows one is selling something. So, I do not assume that old age is an already booked destination. Even if I once did, which I doubt, the last three years have cured me of such an illusion. As such, I treat it as a hope rather than an expectation, and I have found that a more honest way to live.

It is exactly why I want something placed on record now, while I am still able to place things on record, rather than leave it for people to guess what my wishes were in the fog of a funeral week. If I do not make old bones, my children are not to be asked to read tributes at my funeral. Not one line, however short, however lovingly written.

This, for me, was settled today rather than re-opened. At Dotun Oladipo’s funeral service, his three daughters took turns to read their tributes to their dad, and I found myself watching them with awe. There was a kind of strength in them that I do not possess. It is the strength needed to stand in front of a hall brimming with grieving adults and speak about a man they have just lost. Forever. Strength, however, is not the same as ease. I could see plainly what that strength was costing them as they read. Their voices caught. Their composure held and then did not hold and then held again through sheer will.

In front of them, in the pews, men and women considerably older than them came undone in ways the girls themselves were somehow managing to resist. I went mightily close. Some of the sobbing was quiet, the type people try to fold into a handkerchief. Some of it was not quiet at all, the kind that announces itself whether or not you want it.

Those young women honoured their father with a grace that is beyond me. What they did was astonishing. So, what I am attempting is an observation of a custom I have now watched wound people. This was not the first time I had watched this particular ritual extract more than it should from people already running on fumes. I saw an earlier and harder version of it at a friend’s wake back in 2015.

The first son was called forward to read his father’s tribute, and he could not do it. He tried, but the words would not come, and he stood there in front of a crowd of mourners, with his grief simply refusing to organise itself into sentences. The officiating minister, rather than releasing him from the task, urged him to continue. I sat fizzing with sorrow and ire. He could not go on and, eventually, the minister accepted, but not before insisting a while longer than it should have reasonably taken. His younger brother was called up next, presumably on the theory that if one grieving son could not manage it, maybe another one could. He flunked it in the same way. Grief does not distribute itself more conveniently among siblings just because a programme has been printed and needs to be followed.

I have turned that memory over many times since, trying to work out why this part of the rites is treated as mandatory in the first place. I have not found a satisfying answer. Maybe it comes from a belief that a child’s words carry more weight than anyone else’s, which may even be true, but weight is exactly the problem when those carrying it are struggling to hold themselves together with nothing but adrenaline and the fear of dissolving in public.

Maybe it is simply inertia, the reason we still do a hundred things at funerals that nobody can explain the original purpose of. Either way, I have stopped looking for the justification. I no longer think one exists that is good enough to weigh against what I watched happen to that boy in 2015.

So, let this stand as my instruction rather than my preference, the kind of thing I would rather state plainly now than leave for my children to infer later from how uncertain I sound when the subject comes up in passing. If I do not get the old age I am hoping for, my children will not be asked to read a single word over my body. Someone else can speak for me. A friend, a stranger with a steadier voice and a smaller stake in the loss, anyone whose grief will not be quite so total that standing upright becomes almost impossible.

My children, of course, will sit in front and fall apart if that is what the day requires of them, but without the microphone. That, at least, is one small mercy I intend to arrange for them while I am still here to arrange it.

Dotun deserved every bit of the send-off his daughters gave him today, and I suspect he would have been the first to tell them to sit down and let someone else carry the weight for a while. He did not get a say in that, as none of us ever do once we are the ones being spoken of rather than the ones speaking. Rest well, Dotun. You raised three young women whose strength I will not soon forget. That alone says everything worth saying about the man you were.

 

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‘Tinubu Will Win Again in 2027’ — Charismatic Bishops’ Secretary

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‘Tinubu Will Win Again in 2027’ — Charismatic Bishops’ Secretary

A senior Nigerian cleric, Archbishop Chivir Chianson, has declared that President Bola Tinubu will retain the presidency after the 2027 general election, attributing the prediction to a message he said came from God.

Chianson, who serves as Secretary General of the Charismatic Bishops’ Conference of Nigeria, made the statement while appearing on Arise Television on Saturday.

Rather than basing his prediction on political calculations, the archbishop said his confidence came from what he described as the prophetic role of bishops.

He maintained that the conference had previously spoken about Tinubu’s political future based on what he said was divine revelation and that the President would return for another term.

Chianson also predicted that Tinubu’s performance would improve if he wins the 2027 election.

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Addressing the political opposition, the cleric said the bishops could not be blamed if rival parties failed to unite or organise themselves effectively ahead of the election.

He also sought to clarify the position of the bishops when dealing with government, saying their role in speaking truth to power did not mean they should approach political leaders with hostility or disrespect.

According to him, the Constitution, alongside their religious convictions, should guide how they engage the President and the country.

Chianson said he was sufficiently confident in his prediction to promise that he would return to the Arise TV studio after the 2027 election, when he expects the result to demonstrate that the bishops’ prophecy was correct.

His comments add a religious dimension to the increasingly active political conversation surrounding the 2027 presidential race.

‘Tinubu Will Win Again in 2027’ — Charismatic Bishops’ Secretary

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