•Admits: I did a number of things wrong; blames spiritual ignorance

•On behalf of husband,  self, apologizes to  Yoruba, Nigerians for whatever wrong committed

•Also apologizes to twin  brother Kenny Martins

Chief (Mrs.) Taiwo Obasanjo is the wife of former President Olusegun Obasanjo.

In this interview, she apologizes to the former President for the problems they encountered in their marriage, saying she would continue to love and adore him as her husband. Waxing spiritual, Mrs. Obasanjo also advocates reconciliation in homes as believes the country would be a better place if the home front was more loving and united.

Addressing her husband directly, she says: “Daddy Olusegun Obasanjo, my great, dearest husband, my secret prayer for you is that you will leave a beautiful, divine legacy behind in your very ripe old age and you will metamorphose into another Nelson Mandela for us, for Africa and humanity”. Excerpts:

What is your relationship with the former President? Have you reconciled?

Yes, I have reconciled with him and I want to use this medium to say the reconciliation is not only because of myself, but also because of other women out there, our daughters, both single and married, who may be reading this, that I am genuinely sorry for all I did wrong in the course of my relationship with my husband.

If I am to speak truthfully, and I want to speak truthfully, I did a number of things wrong. He has his faults and I have my own faults too, but, when I listen to the inner voice of God within me, a woman should not be the boss of her husband. I am the one who left him. He didn’t tell me to go and he didn’t chase me out of the marriage. He is a man I love very much and I will forever love him. He is my first love and I am very proud of him. He is not Mr. Perfect and I am not Mrs. Perfect but I love him and I did a number of things wrong which I am now spiritually conscious of.

I will like to publicly say to him that I am genuinely sorry for all I did wrong. I love him and I will forever love him. I also apologize to anyone I have hurt before and also to my twin brother, Chief Kenny Martins. My twin brother loves me strongly and very protective of me and my children. My twin is a very good man. I also hurt him too and I am deeply sorry. I pray for Daddy OBJ that his latter days will be better and greater than the former.

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God will preserve and protect him and still use him for us. He is a legend. He is in the class of Nelson Mandela. He is a great man. A lot of good is deposited in him, inactive, not publicly put to use and I will even encourage youths to gather themselves – I can even lead some of them if they approach me – to him and get him to talk to government, if not at the federal level, but to state governors. They can use him to reach their governors to implement people-oriented programmes so that we can be more progressive, productive and reduce poverty and lack of employment. I am praying Daddy Obasanjo would also leave an everlasting, beautiful, glorious legacy. At this age, he also would want to do a number of things right. His being alive is not ceremonial or decorative.

It is for a purpose. God gave Moses 120 years and his long years were not superficial or decorative. They were very impactful. In the Bible, Elisha died but even his bones were still oozing out power. They threw a corpse inside his grave and the person came out alive. Daddy OBJ is a compassionate man who wants comfort, as much as he can, for the generality of the people and he is useful even in old age.

Daddy Olusegun Obasanjo, my great, dearest husband, my secret prayer for you is that you will leave a beautiful, divine legacy behind in your very ripe old age and you will metamorphose into another Nelson Mandela for us, for Africa and humanity… meaning that you will have a loving, humble, repentant, unifying and forgiving heart towards all just as Nelson Mandela came out of prison, became a former President with no hatred, no arrogance, no bitterness or vengeance in his heart for anyone. He loved all and forgave all and embraced those who hurt him.

I pray you will become like Nelson Mandela to love, to forgive and unite all warring parties and rebels, both in the Christian and Muslim worlds, all over Africa and the world. And the end of Nelson Mandela was beautiful. I pray you will live longer and healthier. You are my God given love, my God given husband and l want to repeat and shout it out for the whole world to hear…l love you, l love you, l love you till eternity. Forgive and pardon me 100% for all l did wrong in Jesus mighty name.

Submissive wives

It is biblically wrong for a woman to be the boss of her husband, to say that she wants to have her way all the time. A woman should be submissive. A woman should be humble in marriage. A woman should not lord it over her husband. He could wrong you. He might be doing a lot of things wrongly, but that does not give you the moral right to insist on having your way all the time. It is a biblical injunction and even in accordance with our cultures as Africans to be submissive to our husbands.

Yoruba, Nigerians

I also want to say to the Yoruba and entire Nigerians, on behalf of Chief Olusegun Obasanjo, I and our children, that we are truly sorry in whichever way he or we have wronged or hurt anyone. I humbly ask for genuine public forgiveness from all on his behalf and his entire family in the name of God Almighty. I am not trying to market him or do PR for him, but he is a man that means well for the people. A number of things have happened in the family. People have read about them and I have also reacted but that is not what God expected from me as a Christian wife. Daddy OBJ means well. He is not a bad person and he can still be useful in this nation.

He is an elder statesman now and I believe God did not keep him alive for the fun of it. He is a material that we can still use to advance the good cause of this nation and Africa. People may react and say he is the genesis of certain challenges or that he did some things wrong, but that is not the way we should look at life. Look at Japan which was deadly, devastatingly hit by America – the Hiroshima and Nagasaki saga. Today, Japan is a friendly, peaceful ally of America. Japanese and their leaders are not hammering on what America did to Japan. They have moved on and Japan has recovered from the ruins of that attack. Nigeria is still open to recover from any pain or wrong that anyone may have afflicted her with. We can still become strong, useful ally of one another despite the past wrongs or hurt we have done to ourselves or to anyone or the nation.

My husband is still alive because God wants him to still do certain things right or even correct some of the wrongs he did in the past. My husband is a man loaded with intelligence. Spiritual, physical, political, industrial, he is a prophet. He is loaded, blessed by God and his intelligence can be put to use if we tap into it because there is nothing like experience. You cannot wish away experience.

Son in politics

I encouraged my son to go into politics. It is not that he did not support us, but I will love to say publicly that it is not good for children to defy their father or mother or to ‘slap’ them in their pursuit in life. My son went to APC against the wish of the father because Daddy OBJ is no more pro-APC. What my son did was a terrible slap. I should have encouraged my son to seek the approval of his biological father first. He was the President of our nation that ruled longest and still living. My son could gain better by being in one accord with the father. I will not advise anyone, any child to go against the wishes of their parents even if not pronounced.

The father has held various positions, became President twice and my son should have sought his blessings. I should have joined in making things right. I should have taken my son to his father for blessings on the issue. They actually get on very well. It is only in the area of politics that he didn’t go the way of the father. He has a good relationship with my son. He lives with him, works for him and the father provides him everything. He bought him cars, pays his staff and he does not lack anything under him.

Prodigal wife

Like the prodigal son in the Bible, I can refer to myself as the ‘prodigal wife’. Yes. It is to God and to Olusegun Obasanjo I belong in Jesus mighty name, not to any other man and I am very proud of him. I am a complete woman. I am happy that I am alive today to give thanks to God and to reconcile with him because if I was long gone, I would have ended in hell. I will encourage all our women, our wives not to hold on to the pains, grudges, bitterness or whatever anyone has done to them. Let us bring our families together. The healing and the unity will also affect the nation.

Home front

The nation is seriously divided with so much hateful feelings and that is why we have all these agitations, but I believe the home front should be addressed first. Reconcile with your family. I pray God will give us that big heart to let go of all hateful feelings and bitterness and it should start from the home. I have no grudge with anyone and I am not ashamed to publicly apologize to my husband. He is my forever husband and it is till death do us part. I cannot rigidly hold on to the perceived misgivings I have against him. This healing process from the home can also affect the nation. The solution to so many challenges in life does not come from the multitude but from one man destined by God. Daddy OBJ is a solution provider. This is not the time to start trading blames. We should stop blaming IBB, Abdulsalami, Jonathan or OBJ. We have got to move forward.

Not deliberate

I didn’t deliberately go out to hurt Daddy OBJ or to bring estrangement into the marriage. It was done at a period of spiritual ignorance. This is the time for us all to unite. Let us not block the progress of one another. I believe charity should begin from home. It is time we should think of how we can help the nation to be productive and stop hammering on the past misdeeds of some leaders. That will not fetch us any progress. There is nothing to be gained from that.

Are there specific wrongs that if you had your way, you would wish to change?

There are certain things that happened and for the fact that they happened, I believe they were not without the knowledge of God. I don’t want to say I wish I had done this or that. In fact, I will say I am thankful to God for all the errors, for all the problems and for all the mistakes. The reason is there are many mistakes we make that they are meant to turn our mess to a message. They are meant to turn our pains to gains for God. I am thankful for the errors, for all that happened because I have learned from them and I have evolved. I am a better version of myself now.

Many people like to pontificate but experience is better than what is called theory. If the errors had not occurred and if I am not alive today, I am sure I would have ended in hell because all that happened, God has used it to refine me, to preserve my life and to make me a better person. Going back into the marriage, I will not repeat the errors again. He is also an elder and there are a number of things he also will not be doing consciously wrong again, because many things we did wrong were unconsciously done and we may think it is okay, whereas they are not okay with God and man. The negativity in me, God has excised them, like when you do a surgical operation on somebody. It is from those errors that God used to let me know about some fundamental truths in life, on marriage and people. I am a woman that is too much of a perfectionist.

I am a woman that is too impatient and intolerant. I have learned patience and tolerance with the diverse characters God has made and I am bound to relate with them. God’s message is love and, as a Christian, John 3:16 is my favourite verse in the Bible. It says “For God so loved the world that He gave out of His son for all…” It didn’t say God was so domineering or dictatorial or hateful. Out of love, God sacrificed Himself for us. He knows that there are so many errors in us and so He gave us His Son which means there is sacrifice with love to be made on our own part, in our marriage and public life, the true meaning of Jesus Christ is simply- the pure, practical demonstration of the love of God in human flesh for all, love is sacrifice not seeking for faults but helping to make better and neutralize the faults for the best in us to prevail for the good of all in true submission to God Almighty.

Lonely road

Looking back, I would have loved him the more. I would have stood by him and be more protective of him because leadership is a lonely road and you need someone who loves you for who you are, who you can flow with without fear. The bond between me and him is a good one. He loves me, loves my family and I love him too.

But I didn’t reciprocate his love the way I should have done, the way God wants me to. In our lives, we are all mission people, whether at the lower, middle or upper level and many of us are not aware of our mission but something will come and ignite or spur you on to your mission. Samuel was deposited in the life of Eli for a purpose. It wasn’t him who said he wanted to be Judge over Israel. King David was in the bush, just like the herdsmen that we have today in the forest, tending to his father’s sheep. The family probably didn’t think much of David but God saw the good in him when there was nobody there. The number of good things that Daddy OBJ has done is not open to many people. I am not saying he has not hurt some people or wronged them but we should focus on the future.

Are you saying Obasanjo is a man misunderstood by a lot of people?

Yes and I will tell you why. Like I said, I also at one time misunderstood him in the course of our relationship. He is not a bad person. He sacrifices a lot. Let me give you an example. When he came out of Dodan Barracks, he established Operation Feed the Nation which metamorphosed into Obasanjo Farms. He could have gone into building grandiose projects but what he did was to look at how he could get the people to feed themselves.

In Yoruba we say once food is out of your poverty, your problems are half solved. He has established a lot of projects, not to benefit him or bring immediate large revenue margin. For example, he established a factory. I think Starch and Glucose factory at that time. He went to buy machines and instead of buying automatic as he was encouraged by some people, he decided to go for manual.

He said with the manual machines, he could employ more hands and provide source of income for a lot of people unlike automatic machines that would deprive them of such opportunities in that factory. He was never after the profit he was going to make. How many people go into any project just to employ people and make sure they have income? If he was a bad man, he wouldn’t do that.

Vanguard