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Wande Abimbola @91: How an àbíkú decided to live (1)

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Stop, CBN! The baby is in the bathwater
Tunde Odesola
Wande Abimbola @91: How an àbíkú decided to live (1)
Tunde Odesola
(Published in The PUNCH, on Friday, January 5, 2024)
At 14, Ogunwande left his father’s house for the clinic of a renowned olóòlà, the penis stylist in Akeetan, his Oyo hometown, and declared his mission to have the foreskin of his manhood surgically removed. “Mo fe da’ko,” he told the baba of his intention to be circumcised.
The baba shot him a knowing look, fetched his surgical tools and intoned some words to himself. As directed, a bare Ogunwande lay spread-eagled, wrapping his arms around a giant gourd that passes for a surgical table while the olóòlà set to work. With a dexterity that belonged to the ages, the olóòlà peeled off the foreskin as though he was unwrapping a candy.
Blood gushed, pain panged but Ogunwande did not flinch. His face was deadpan, like still water at night. He got up, put on his clothes and headed back home as if he had only visited a tailor who had taken his measurements for an agbádá. He walked with the swagger of a youngster returning home from watching Alapinni, the father of all the egúngún (masqueraders) in Oyo.
Every why has a reason, says William Shakespeare. A newborn should be circumcised at birth or within the first few days of life if the parents believe in religious or traditional beliefs. Why then was Ogunwande, begotten by religious and traditional parents, not circumcised at birth? Why was it his call to decide when to be circumcised? Why did he not wince or cry when he was circumcised?
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Well, Ogunwande was born an àbíkú. His mother, Sangodayo Awele, had knelt four separate times before the midwife, bearing four children, one after the other, but she lost each at infancy. However, Ogunwande’s parents already had two children, Ogunyoyin and Ogundiya, before abiku visited them four times in succession.
An article, “Grief and Bereavement in Fathers After the Death of a Child: A Systematic Review,” published in April 2021 by the American Academy of Pediatrics says fathers and mothers react to the loss of a child differently. The article written by Michael J. McNeil and four others, emphasises that, “Fathers often avoided discussing their grief with others, returned to work earlier, and used goal-oriented tasks as coping strategies. Intense grief reactions and posttraumatic psychological sequelae diminished over time in mothers yet persisted in fathers.”
But another article, “Bereavement Experiences After the Death of a Child,” written by Grace H. Christ, et al, and published by the world’s largest medical library – the National Library of Medicine – owned by the US government, says, “Women typically grieve more intensely and for longer periods of time than do their spouses.”
The loss of her four babies scorched the heart of Sangodayo like the leaping tongues of fire crackling dry twigs. Because it was a period when husbands were lords, Sangodayo knelt before her husband, Iroko Abimbola, and pleaded that they both go to Babalawo Ajao in Ahoro Iseke, Oyo, to protect the newborn against returning to the netherworld.
When mother and father got to Oluwo Ajao’s place, the priest gave them his object of divination to say their hearts’ desires to. The parents did not divulge what brought them to the babalawo but after speaking to the object of divination, and Ajao consulted Ifa, ‘Eji Ogbe’ (good omen) was the revelation the babalawo got, and he said in Yoruba, “Sangodayo, you’re pregnant. You do not want the baby to die like the others that died before it.”
Shocked, Sangodayo confirmed she was pregnant even as her husband recalled the loss of their four babies. “This baby will live,” Oluwo Ajao predicted, adding, “If you will obey these three taboos.” “What are they,” Sangodayo asked eagerly; “We will do them,” Iroko assured.
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The babalawo cleared his throat, “One, the child must never be beaten. Two, he must not have tribal marks. Three, he must not be circumcised unless he willingly volunteers to do so himself.” “We shall adhere strictly to the taboos,” the husband reassured the babalawo. And the couple departed.
After some moons, the abiku crept up from the underworld realm of ageless wandering and knocked on the door of life, hoping to make father and mother cry a river the fifth time. Little did it know that a trap had been set for the whale in the depth of the deep so that no one would wail no more.
Iroko and Sangodayo welcomed their bittersweet baby with hope and trepidation. They named him Ogunwande, which means ‘Ogun has come to dwell with me’, in recognition of the family’s ultimate belief in the Ogun godhead.
Ogunwande was never beaten, circumcised or given tribal marks. And he lived as predicted by Oluwo Ajao. Iroko consecrated his son to the gods. So, Ogunwande learnt Ifa, ijala, and the worshipping of Ogun, Sango, eegun etc, knowing the panegyrics of various deities. He also learned farming and hunting as a youngster in the family’s farmstead located away from their Akeetan home. The family lived on the farmstead, occasionally coming home during Ogun, Sango, and Egungun festivals.
Ogunwande said, “The farmstead was remote and threadbare when compared with the amenities in Akeetan where the family house is located. We lived more on the farmstead and occasionally came home to Akeetan. Whenever we came back home from the farmstead, we would be super excited to see even the omolanke (cart). The farmstead was considered a bush.
“We had come home to celebrate one of the festivals, and I passed by Native Authority Town School near our house. I saw some children wearing the same uniform, playing on the field. I was surprised.”
A curious Ogunwande sauntered onto the school field and asked a student, “What are you boys and girls doing here?” The shocked student retorted, “What are we doing here? We are learning, of course!” Ogunwande got more confused, “Learning? What is learning?” The student laughed out loudly, “Ara oko (bushman), you don’t know what learning is?” “I don’t know,” Ogunwande said, crestfallen. “What’s your name?,” the impudent student asked in Yoruba. Ogunwande told him and watched as the student used a twig to write O-g-u-n-w-a-n-d-e on the ground. “That’s your name, ara oko,” the cheeky student said.
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Ogunwande followed the student to his class, where he was shown what a classroom looks like. “You better tell your father that you want to school and stop chasing rats and rabbits about,” the student admonished.
School was love at first sight for ’Wande, who ran home to tell his father of his newfound desire. “I prostrated before my father; nobody in the family talked to him standing, my mother kneels to talk to him, I also prostrate to talk to my two older siblings, Ogunyoyin and Ogundiya, whom my parents had before the four abikus,” Ogunwande said. But his father wouldn’t have his son go to school. “Sukuru or what did you call it? Is that not the place where they write meaningless little things in books? Is that what you want to do with your life? Is that a job? You’re lazy! My son will never be lazy! So, you can’t go into the forest and kill buffalo, leopards and snakes? It’s writing small, small nonsense on paper that you want to be doing in your life. Is that a job? You won’t do that in my family?”
Ogunwande, subsequently, went on a hunger strike for three days, eating nothing, and he became very weak. His mother, Sangodayo, begged and wept but Iroko was unperturbed. Sangodayo, “My lord, please, remember the prediction of Baba Ajao, who said when Ogunwande comes of age, he would want to choose a peculiar job; remember, my lord, that the Baba said we should not stop him!”
But Iroko won’t budge. “So, Sangodayo ran to my father’s younger brother, Ogunyemi Ojo Olaluwoye, to come and prevail over my father,” Ogunwande recalled. Ojo spoke to my father while prostrating and pleaded my case, saying, “My lord, you’ve been to Lagos and the Second World War. Western education is the future of the world. Let Ogunwande go to school. My son, Ige, would also be joining them, too. Both of them can go together.”
“My father kept quiet for a long time after Ojo made his plea,” and he said, “You too are very lazy, Ojo! That’s why you’re supporting young boys, who should be displaying valour, to go and waste their time writing small small nonsense! It’s ok, he can go and ruin his life!”
Ogunwande survived on broth for the days his father was adamant and he became so gaunt, earning himself the nickname Olómí tóóró.
But ’Wande didn’t abandon Ifa and the worship of the deities. The knowledge of Ifa came in handy for him one day when a snake bit a student in school.
* To be continued.
Facebook: @Tunde Odesola
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Opinion

2027: Competence, Not Zoning, Should Decide Nigeria’s Next President — Imasuagbon

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Nigerians should look beyond ethnicity, region and the longstanding debate over rotational presidency when choosing the country’s next leader, according to a chieftain of the African Democratic Congress (ADC), Kenneth Imasuagbon.

The former Edo State governorship aspirant said the priority ahead of the 2027 election should be finding a president with the ability to confront Nigeria’s economic, security and infrastructure challenges.

Speaking to journalists in Benin, Imasuagbon argued that presidential rotation is not a requirement of the Nigerian Constitution and should therefore not outweigh the question of competence.

He said voters should be more concerned about replacing poor schools with better ones, improving healthcare and addressing hardship than debating where the next president comes from.

Imasuagbon specifically appealed to voters in the South to support former Vice President Atiku Abubakar, who is contesting the 2027 presidency on the ADC platform.

According to him, Atiku has demonstrated the experience and determination needed to improve the country, describing the former vice president as someone capable of promoting national unity and fairness.

He also accused the Bola Tinubu administration of worsening economic pressure through policies including the removal of fuel subsidy, while expressing concern about the condition of roads, electricity and other infrastructure.

Imasuagbon argued that the next administration must focus on practical improvements in areas such as power, transportation, employment, security and public services.

The ADC chieftain also dismissed the idea that the ruling All Progressives Congress (APC) would automatically benefit from its incumbency advantage in 2027.

He maintained that the electorate ultimately determines the outcome of an election, arguing that voters could change the political direction of the country if they were determined to do so.

Imasuagbon further criticised what he described as regional and ethnic considerations in the distribution of political appointments and opportunities, insisting that the next president should give Nigerians across different parts of the country a sense of belonging.

His comments come as political parties and their candidates intensify preparations for the 2027 presidential election.

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Lesson from Dotun Oladipo’s Brave Daughters, by Bamidele Johnson

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Lesson from Dotun Oladipo’s Brave Daughters, by Bamidele Johnson

 

I hope to grow old. I want to see my kids become real adults, find their own feet, make mistakes, recover from them, and perhaps one day complain that their own children are giving them grey hairs. I want that plainly stated before anything else, as everything that follows might read as a man agreeing to an early exit rather than a man simply being honest about the odds.

I want the decades. I want to become the grandfather who repeats the same stories until nobody bothers correcting him anymore. But wanting a thing and being granted are different things. The last year has made that difference harder to ignore than I would like. I have lost many friends recently to keep thinking that optimism is my natural resting state. Some of these men had better blood pressure than mine, better habits, better everything that is supposed to count. It did not save them.

There is no formula I know that reliably separates the men who make it to 70 from those who do not. Anyone who says he knows one is selling something. So, I do not assume that old age is an already booked destination. Even if I once did, which I doubt, the last three years have cured me of such an illusion. As such, I treat it as a hope rather than an expectation, and I have found that a more honest way to live.

It is exactly why I want something placed on record now, while I am still able to place things on record, rather than leave it for people to guess what my wishes were in the fog of a funeral week. If I do not make old bones, my children are not to be asked to read tributes at my funeral. Not one line, however short, however lovingly written.

This, for me, was settled today rather than re-opened. At Dotun Oladipo’s funeral service, his three daughters took turns to read their tributes to their dad, and I found myself watching them with awe. There was a kind of strength in them that I do not possess. It is the strength needed to stand in front of a hall brimming with grieving adults and speak about a man they have just lost. Forever. Strength, however, is not the same as ease. I could see plainly what that strength was costing them as they read. Their voices caught. Their composure held and then did not hold and then held again through sheer will.

In front of them, in the pews, men and women considerably older than them came undone in ways the girls themselves were somehow managing to resist. I went mightily close. Some of the sobbing was quiet, the type people try to fold into a handkerchief. Some of it was not quiet at all, the kind that announces itself whether or not you want it.

Those young women honoured their father with a grace that is beyond me. What they did was astonishing. So, what I am attempting is an observation of a custom I have now watched wound people. This was not the first time I had watched this particular ritual extract more than it should from people already running on fumes. I saw an earlier and harder version of it at a friend’s wake back in 2015.

The first son was called forward to read his father’s tribute, and he could not do it. He tried, but the words would not come, and he stood there in front of a crowd of mourners, with his grief simply refusing to organise itself into sentences. The officiating minister, rather than releasing him from the task, urged him to continue. I sat fizzing with sorrow and ire. He could not go on and, eventually, the minister accepted, but not before insisting a while longer than it should have reasonably taken. His younger brother was called up next, presumably on the theory that if one grieving son could not manage it, maybe another one could. He flunked it in the same way. Grief does not distribute itself more conveniently among siblings just because a programme has been printed and needs to be followed.

I have turned that memory over many times since, trying to work out why this part of the rites is treated as mandatory in the first place. I have not found a satisfying answer. Maybe it comes from a belief that a child’s words carry more weight than anyone else’s, which may even be true, but weight is exactly the problem when those carrying it are struggling to hold themselves together with nothing but adrenaline and the fear of dissolving in public.

Maybe it is simply inertia, the reason we still do a hundred things at funerals that nobody can explain the original purpose of. Either way, I have stopped looking for the justification. I no longer think one exists that is good enough to weigh against what I watched happen to that boy in 2015.

So, let this stand as my instruction rather than my preference, the kind of thing I would rather state plainly now than leave for my children to infer later from how uncertain I sound when the subject comes up in passing. If I do not get the old age I am hoping for, my children will not be asked to read a single word over my body. Someone else can speak for me. A friend, a stranger with a steadier voice and a smaller stake in the loss, anyone whose grief will not be quite so total that standing upright becomes almost impossible.

My children, of course, will sit in front and fall apart if that is what the day requires of them, but without the microphone. That, at least, is one small mercy I intend to arrange for them while I am still here to arrange it.

Dotun deserved every bit of the send-off his daughters gave him today, and I suspect he would have been the first to tell them to sit down and let someone else carry the weight for a while. He did not get a say in that, as none of us ever do once we are the ones being spoken of rather than the ones speaking. Rest well, Dotun. You raised three young women whose strength I will not soon forget. That alone says everything worth saying about the man you were.

 

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‘Tinubu Will Win Again in 2027’ — Charismatic Bishops’ Secretary

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‘Tinubu Will Win Again in 2027’ — Charismatic Bishops’ Secretary

A senior Nigerian cleric, Archbishop Chivir Chianson, has declared that President Bola Tinubu will retain the presidency after the 2027 general election, attributing the prediction to a message he said came from God.

Chianson, who serves as Secretary General of the Charismatic Bishops’ Conference of Nigeria, made the statement while appearing on Arise Television on Saturday.

Rather than basing his prediction on political calculations, the archbishop said his confidence came from what he described as the prophetic role of bishops.

He maintained that the conference had previously spoken about Tinubu’s political future based on what he said was divine revelation and that the President would return for another term.

Chianson also predicted that Tinubu’s performance would improve if he wins the 2027 election.

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Addressing the political opposition, the cleric said the bishops could not be blamed if rival parties failed to unite or organise themselves effectively ahead of the election.

He also sought to clarify the position of the bishops when dealing with government, saying their role in speaking truth to power did not mean they should approach political leaders with hostility or disrespect.

According to him, the Constitution, alongside their religious convictions, should guide how they engage the President and the country.

Chianson said he was sufficiently confident in his prediction to promise that he would return to the Arise TV studio after the 2027 election, when he expects the result to demonstrate that the bishops’ prophecy was correct.

His comments add a religious dimension to the increasingly active political conversation surrounding the 2027 presidential race.

‘Tinubu Will Win Again in 2027’ — Charismatic Bishops’ Secretary

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